When we got outside I went towards the gate as I thought we’d be going straight to the crag but Sarge walked in the other direction, towards the lake, and started to untie the boat.

I ran after him and asked, ‘What’s all this about, Sarge?’

He didn’t answer. Didn’t look at me either. I get nervous when Sarge goes quiet like that. What usually follows is him shouting up at the sky, kicking out at nothing, cursing the American murderers. I could feel a funny lump in my throat but I swallowed hard and tried to stay in position as Sarge tried to untie the boat from the dock. When the rope finally came loose he looked up at me, his face all screwed up and sweating, and told me to get in.

‘But I thought we were going up there,’ I said, pointing up to the crag behind him.

Sarge’s face changed then. His eyes got all wide and he balled his hands into fists.

‘One more word and I’ll have you for insubordination.’ He was yelling really loudly and spit from his mouth went flying into my face. Then he got even angrier. ‘You think you have the right to question the word of your superior? You fucking little shit. Get in that boat and await your orders or you’ll be spending the rest of the week in solitary.’

I got such a shock then because Sarge doesn’t swear like that unless he’s talking about George W. Bush. He’d never spoken to me like that before. Not even when I’d broken the door of the stove that time and the house filled with smoke. But I was a kid back then and he treated me like one. Now I’m eleven he treats me like an adult, like one of his men, and it’s hard to get used to. So when he yelled like that I was in such shock that my legs wouldn’t move. I just stood there staring at the water, trying to stop myself from crying.

It was a cold day and the lake looked a funny grey colour. Sometimes, when Sarge and I go out in the boat and the sun is shining, I see little shapes rising up off the surface. They look like tiny dancing fairies spinning and twisting in the air. I’ve come to know them as the lake sprites and when I go to bed at night I open my window and say goodnight to them. Sometimes I hear them giggling and other times I can hear them whisper to each other. They are very mischievous little things. I wished they would appear as I stood there looking out at the lake this morning but all was silent and the only voice I could hear was his.

‘I said get in that fucking boat.’

He grabbed my arms and dragged me to the water. I’d been in that boat hundreds of times but now as I stood looking at it bobbing in the water I felt scared.