Greta thought of her mom. If you asked her if she wanted you to clear the table, she would say no, but if you just did it, she really appreciated it. Her father would never ask for assistance, so you just had to pick up a box and start helping.

Carys shook her head. “I wasn’t being polite. I told you what I wanted, and you didn’t respect it. This wasn’t about what ‘anyone’ would’ve wanted. This was about what I wanted. I told you, and you did the opposite.”

“I…” Greta didn’t know what to say. “You’re upset because I cleaned up and made you food.”

She felt like her brain was glitching, because it came out sounding accusatory rather than clarifying.

Finally, Carys’ voice rose, and Greta realized that she’d been keeping a tight rein on her temper. It reminded her of the detached way she’d spoken to her mother the day before, which horrified her.

“No. I’m upset because I was really clear about something and you didn’t respect it. Listen, I understand that you were trying to do something sweet. Trying to take care of me. But it really bums me out that you didn’t listen. I want you to pay attention to me, to what I say I want. Not to just act on your interpretation of what you think I want. I can’t handle that shit. You know about my mom. This is a huge thing for me. I need to be able to say what I want and what I don’t want and have it heard and respected. If I had wanted food, I would’ve told you. If I had wanted you to clean, I would’ve accepted your generous offer. But what I said was that I needed to sleep and be left alone, and you didn’t respect it. You just did what you thought was best, and it wasn’t.”

Greta felt like her guts were turning inside out.

“Fuck. Carys, I’m so sorry. I didn’t… I honestly was trying to take care of you. I didn’t think about it that way at all. I’m really sorry.”

“Thanks for saying that. This is, like, a thing you do. You know? You try to take care in the ways that you assume someone might want. But those gestures are about your assumptions and not about the person you want to take care of.”

“I do?”

“Yeah. Like with the ice cream the other day—you did the same thing. So I’m telling you: when I say I want something, that’s what I want. When I say I don’t want something, I don’t mean that you should go behind my back and do it anyway because secretly I do want it. Okay?”