‘I’m old enough to look after myself now, Mum.’

‘I know, I’m just making sure,’ her mum replied, looking around the kitchen counters for something, then grabbing her keys finally. ‘I’m not sure if I’ll be able to call later on – I’ve got a bunch of meetings before we go over to the place, but I’ll try and ring around lunchtime.’

Holly nodded at her mother, as she picked up a slice of toast smothered in butter and shoved it in her mouth. Her mum was doing the same as she shouted at the speaker to stop, putting her coat on.

‘Speak to you later, love you,’ her mum said, planting a crumbed mouth on Holly’s forehead before leaving. She heard the door close at the front of the house and breathed out.

There was silence then, Holly eating her cereal, her phone on the table in front of her. Inside, her mind continued to tick over. She could almost hear the thoughts as stark words, being shouted into her ear.

You’re going to lose. They’re just messing with you. There is no way to win.

She tried to ignore them. To shut out the fears and doubts that were now beginning to creep in.

To not think about the decision she had made and what it would mean if it didn’t work.

She needed it to work because she couldn’t live like this anymore.

The fear of being found out. She had seen what happened to people on social media, once the drums began to beat and people were castigated. Thousands, millions of voices shouting, all directed at her. The anger that would come her way. Her mum’s way.

She couldn’t let that happen.

Holly finished eating, swallowed what was now lukewarm tea and stared at the mobile phone. For a few minutes, she enjoyed the glowing and airy kitchen. The way the sunlight danced through the windows and settled around her. She had become used to shutting herself away when at home, almost running from the light, the radiance of an autumn day. Barricading herself in her room, shutting the curtains, sitting in near-darkness.

She had forgotten what beauty could be derived from simple everyday occurrences.

Holly closed her eyes for a second or two, breathing in and out slowly, enjoying the quiet and the warmth. The silence. Her thoughts quietened and stilled, allowing her to simply feel calm.

Holly stood up from the kitchen table, clearing away the dishes, and padded back up the stairs.

Entered her bedroom and closed the door behind her. Let the darkness back into her life.

As soon as she’d sat down on the bed, her phone had rung. As if the voice would know her mum had left and she was alone.

‘Hello?’