“Mum, no! That’s...no, that’s not it. That’s not what I meant at all.” Shit. “I wouldn’t back out now, Mum. I mean, it’s...it’s the Fringe, baby...and you know, never give up on a good plan and all that. That was a sign, Mum. I know it was. It’s just that...”

He paused, and it felt like a thousand years. Like the entire weight of the world was just biding its time and shaping up to fall down and settle onto Norman’s scarred little shoulders.

I held my breath, waiting for what was coming next. When we find my father I don’t care who he is, even if he’s just got out of jail for murdering schoolgirls, I want to go and live with him? I’ve decided to double the length of the show just for good measure? I’ve finally worked out how shit you really are as a mother? His voice, though, when it came, was sweet, shaky and careful. Like I was the one who needed protecting, not him.

“It’s just... Mum, I... It’s just that I think I need to work on my material a bit more before Edinburgh. That’s all. I... I just need to do a bit of work, Mum.”

Yeah. Me too, son.

Kathy and Tony showed up at the Eden Rock the next morning to say goodbye, but instead of thinking that maybe it would be quite nice to have a farewell and good-luck breakfast, as Kathy put it, it just made me sad that Tony’s stupid barely there sperm couldn’t have been bothered to swim a little harder. Did they know what they’d missed out on? By the look on Tony’s face every time he talked to Norman, I was guessing the answer was that he, at least, did.

Leonard declined the invitation to breakfast, saying he was going to make the most of the free Wi-Fi while he could. He’d definitely been a little bit off since the whole talent-show mess and he seemed distant and even a little bit snappy when I’d asked if he was quite sure he didn’t want to come with us.

“Absolutely certain, Sadie. I’m really not hungry and I...well, I don’t want to risk making any more silly mistakes so I want to double-check the route to...to...” Leonard stopped midsentence and a pained expression flitted across his face as his eyes slid away from mine and landed on some invisible point over my shoulder. I half turned to see what he was looking at, but I couldn’t see anything except Kathy, Tony and Norman standing in the doorway, waiting for me. They looked for all the world like a cozy little Swansea family and my next breath wrapped itself around my windpipe and held on way too long. When I managed to look away and turn back to Leonard his faraway gaze hadn’t changed. It was a bit disconcerting. All of it.

“Leonard? Are you...?”

He suddenly gave a little shiver and shook his head as if to clear it, looking back at me like he’d just realized I was there.