Now, I’m not saying my real life is anywhere near as interesting as three courses of shit food and a handful of has-beens going through each other’s underwear drawers on the telly, but Leonard certainly seemed to be paying more attention than usual.

14

THE THING ABOUT friends is that there are nearly always consequences to having them. Becoming friends with Leonard in March had led to the deviation from my diversionary conversation tactics and the unexpected early-morning spilling of my guts in July. Which led to him knowing about Norman’s Plan. And being an ex-army guy who clearly loved a plan that led to him wanting in on it. And I don’t just mean a “let’s have a pot of Egyptian tea when you come back and tell me all about it” kind of thing. I mean all-the-way, hold-on-to-your-hat, I’m-coming-with-you in on it. And the consequence of all those other consequences was that it became very real, very quickly.

Leonard’s decision came the day after our slightly late early-morning catch-up and about two minutes after he’d given Dennis the riskiest finger yet. Right to his face, wrapped around the handle of the mop as he lifted it to swing it onto his shoulder. Dennis was so focused on adjusting his hair in the reflection of the window and laughing at his own crack about how Leonard better get over to Boots because they were having a two-for-one sale on Depends that he was oblivious.

I’d just about stopped chuckling and was back to rattling off some standard debtor-avoidance emails when Leonard walked past again, heading for the back door. As he nodded goodbye he dropped a folded-up piece of paper on my desk. With Dennis distracted by one of the mechanics asking how far they could get away with winding back the odometer on the Vauxhall Astra that had just come in, I unfolded the paper.

Cereal, oats, sugar, plain flour, cooking chocolate, bread, Hobnobs, madeira cake.

Aside from flagging up that Leonard and Iris should probably try to reduce their carb intake, I wasn’t quite sure what the list had to do with me. But, as with most things in life, when I turned it over and looked closer it made more sense. Underneath a phone number was a neat handwritten note.

Dear Sadie.

I have given your Norman’s plan a great deal of thought and I want to help, if you will allow me. I would be delighted to drive you to Edinburgh, as the Austin and I could both do with a good spin. I believe I can also help with certain other aspects of the plan. If you would be so good as to forward me your address by text to the mobile phone number above, I will call around this afternoon so that we may discuss the details.

Regards, Leonard

Just like our chats right up until the previous day, it looked like he didn’t really need any input from me to have a meaningful conversation. And if it felt like his decision was all a bit sudden, for someone who could list staring down an insurgent rebellion in a jungle in Borneo on his résumé, a quick jaunt up to Edinburgh probably wasn’t all that daunting.