He kept saying how sorry he was for going off in the car and worrying me and Mum and then not being able to get back to look after me in time because Mum had to stay the night in hospital. But I was just thinking how I couldn’t wait to see him so I could tell him that he didn’t have anything to be sorry for. Because if he hadn’t gone off like that I wouldn’t have had the absolute, definite, without-a-doubt best night of my life. Which is what I decided it was.

Of course, I was pretty sad that I’d gone and had the best night of my life without Jax, but I also felt quite a lot proud of myself. Because if you’d asked me even two days ago I would have said for sure that I couldn’t have done any of that stuff, like going out at night in a city on my own and being chased by a bouncer and ending up on a houseboat drinking Guinness with a bunch of guys, one who might be my grandad, by the way. And being funny. No way no how. But I did. I did all of that on my own and I reckon Jaxy would have been proud of me, too.

I don’t think anyone could have stopped Leonard from getting in a taxi and coming straight over to Lucy’s houseboat in the middle of the night, even if they tried. He said, don’t go anywhere, Norman, and I’ll be there in a jiffy. And promise me you won’t move. Which I did and he was. And when he arrived it was like when me and James got there all over again, with Lucy and the guys trying to give him Guinness and reheated chicken pie and all talking over the top of each other and making room at the table for him.

But before he sat down Leonard put his hand up to shush everyone and said, one moment, please, friends, and Norman, could you please stand up. And when I did he put both arms around me and gave me a massive big hug, which he said was from my mum but also from him. And even though I reckon I left the tops of about a hundred scabs on that window ledge in Slim’s office, and even though Leonard hugged me really, really hard because it was from two people, it didn’t even hurt.

Then Leonard said he wanted to hear all about why I was wearing a chef’s outfit and it looked like maybe I would have as much of a story to tell Mum as she had to tell me. So I told him how I’d gone from practicing my show in the Caramel Suite and being really scared on my own to having an amazing adventure with James and finding out I was a bit like Dave Allen. And then Beano and Gray and Lucy all started talking again and lots more Guinness got drunk, but not by me and Leonard. Because Leonard wanted to keep a clear head and I had a show the next day. Plus after that day in Mrs. Ackerman’s cow paddock I reckon three finger-fulls at a time is enough until I’m at least eighteen.