The Funny Thing About Norman Foreman
Contents ( 68)
Praise for
The Funny Thing About Norman Foreman
“Charming, warm. There is so much to love about this book.”
—Laurie Frankel, New York Times bestselling author of This Is How It Always Is
“Full of hope, humor and kindness… An utter delight!”
—Sarah Haywood, New York Times bestselling author of The Cactus
“A charming, funny and cheering read…a coming-of-age that tickles and moves in equal measure.”
—Beth Morrey, bestselling author of The Love Story of Missy Carmichael
“One of those gorgeous books that completely lifts your spirits and restores your faith in humanity.”
—Ruth Jones, bestselling author of Never Greener and cocreator of Gavin and Stacey
“He’s wheedled his way into my heart, and I suspect I’ll have a Norman-shaped hole there forever.”
—Clare Pooley, author of The Authenticity Project
“Will melt your heart, lift your spirit, and make you want to call your nearest and dearest to tell them how much you love them.”
—Brianna Wolfson, author of That Summer in Maine
The Funny Thing About Norman Foreman
Julietta Henderson
Julietta Henderson is a full-time writer and comedy fan who splits her time between her home country of Australia and the UK. The Funny Thing About Norman Foreman is Julietta’s first novel.
www.JuliettaHenderson.com
For the original Big Al.
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Notes for next year’s Fringe
Acknowledgments
1
Sadie
WHEN I WAS BORN, my insides lay outside my body for twenty-one days. Which is unexpected, but not nearly as unusual as you might think. For every 3,999 other babies that come out with everything tucked in neatly and sealed away exactly where it should be, there’s one like me. Nobody really knows why. Luck of the draw, my father used to say.
For those three weeks, while I lay spread-eagled in an incubator like a Nando’s special, a crowd of doctors gathered every morning to discuss their cleverness and, as my organs shrank to their correct size, bit by bit they gently posted a little more of the me-parts that had made a break for it back inside.
Well, that’s the way my mother told it anyway. The way my father told it, the doctors gathered around the incubator every morning to discuss whether they’d be having my large intestine or my liver for their lunch, and whether it’d be with chips or salad. And that right there might tell you almost everything you need to know about my parents.