I try and stop the sigh escaping. ‘What if learning seduction techniques involves fake kisses, or fake cuddles, or a fake romantic dinner for two? Where does fake end and real begin? At tongues? Hands on bums?’ I can practically see Noah leaning in for a kiss, feel the touch of his hands on my waist and it is making me hot and bothered. Oh gawd, I hope Bea hasn’t noticed!

‘I’d just chill and see where it takes you. You can always cop out when the going gets hot.’ She raises an eyebrow. ‘Or stay in!’

‘I knew you’d say something like that!’ It all sounds far too complicated and risky to me, and risky is what I am trying to avoid. ‘Anyway, it doesn’t matter what you say, I’ve made my mind up. I am not calling Noah. And,’ I hold up my hand to stop her interrupting, as this has brought me to my second decision, ‘I am deleting all the dating apps off my phone.’

Noah has made me realise that I’m probably not cut out for this kind of approach. I think it is for the experienced dater, who won’t get into a pickle or take being stood up, or expected to instantly drop her knickers, personally.

It has worked perfectly for Bea, with her dog-sitting.

It has not worked well for me so far though, and I think Noah might have had a point. You don’t actually know what you’re going to get. I’d kind of imagined that it would work a bit like an arranged marriage – but without the parental involvement, obviously. It doesn’t.

‘Noah was right. People lie, people have dodgy intentions, you order a nice steak and end up with horse. You are lulled into a false sense of security that you will get exactly what it says on the menu.’ I look Bea in the eye. ‘I acted on impulse.’ She raises an eyebrow. ‘Cos Dad texted me.’ The sigh escapes, before I can stop it. ‘He’s found out I’m single, that I’ve been single for ages.’

Bea puts her knife and fork down. ‘Oh Rosie, forget your dad. This is about what you want, it’s not about him; but you can’t give up. You’ll find somebody, you will.’

‘I’m not giving up, I know I’ll find somebody one day. I’ve just decided I need to be cool about it. I don’t need to rush just because Dad thinks I’m practically on the shelf.’

Bea nods encouragingly. ‘You are SO not on the shelf. If you are so am I, so are loads of people!!’

‘It’s just a case of being in the right place at the right time,’ she nods more, ‘so if I make sure I’m out in as many places as possible, then that is going to help.’ Dog walking is definitely an idea.

‘Definitely!’

‘I will find me a man.’ Somewhere, somehow, even an imaginary man if it shuts everybody up. ‘When I’m ready.’ I could hire a date. Or I could ring Noah. If I get really desperate.