Which is why my childhood dream has always been to feel secure. To have a normal family life. To have a nice husband who I can trust with my heart, somebody steady, somebody who will always be there for me. Somebody who wants what I want. My other half.

I want a nice normal guy who offers a merry-go-round not a rollercoaster. A guy who offers me safety. I’m not bothered about having my heart beat so fast it is threatening to break out of my chest (sounds a bit icky anyway). I do not want infatuation like Mum had, or a daily dose of lust coming from an adrenaline rush that sends me sky high one moment and crashing to the floor with doubt and insecurity the next.

I do not want the risk of love that somebody like Noah would offer. I’d rather be bored.

Not somebody who reminds me of the best and the worst bits of Dad. Because the two go hand in hand. Noah has twinkly eyes and a captivating grin. Noah is the type of guy who wants excitement, for each day to bring something new. Noah is the type of guy who draws you in and makes you feel special. Noah is the type of guy who is compelling, the type of guy you dream about and can’t get out of your head. Which makes him dangerous, and everything I do not want.

Noah is sexy, but that’s the point, isn’t it? They always are. I know his type and I am not going to get involved. Not on any level. Definitely not.

I am done with that.

‘I can give you more than one reason why the whole idea is bonkers!’ Bea opens her mouth to speak, so I crash on before she can. ‘Firstly, I do not want to learn how to be some kind of scarlet woman who has swallowed a seduction technique manual, I want to be my normal self and just bump into somebody at random and it turn into a fabulous first date. It happens in the movies, quite a lot.’

‘Okay, fair point,’ she waves her fork, ‘though the movies are the movies to be fair. They’re not real life. Nobody ever had that holding cards up professing love shit, or the mad dash to stop you getting on a plane, or—’

‘Okay, okay, you can stop now!’

‘And the drippy one is never going to turn out to be hotter than the flirty, fun one who wants to live on the edge. Totally unrealistic. Who thinks this stuff up? Marriage guidance counsellors?’

‘Eat your eggs!’

‘I wouldn’t use your go-to romcoms as a guide. Just saying, so don’t pull a face on me! Carry on …’

‘Thanks! So, secondly it won’t work because it involves going out with him. Almost like a fake date. He might want to demonstrate stuff, you know, want to be hands on.’ Bea winks and raises an eyebrow. Now she would get on fine with Noah. She’d be able to handle him. But I wouldn’t.