No. I am not going to ring Noah. Noah is bad news. Noah will have already forgotten I even exist.

‘You’ve got a funny look on your face.’ Bea nudges me in the ribs. ‘Who are you thinking about?’

‘Nobody.’ She doesn’t look convinced, probably because I am glowing.

Bea shrugs. ‘Think about it. That’s all I’m saying, don’t just dismiss him, hun.’

‘I don’t need to think about it. Even if you are right and he’s not going to spend the rest of his life unable to grow up and resist everything in a skirt.’

She touches my hand gently. ‘That’s not fair, Rosie, your dad wasn’t that bad.’

‘Don’t.’ I blink away the prickle at the back of my eyes. I don’t want to talk about him, about a part of my childhood that I still can’t quite come to terms with.

‘Rosie, your dad—’

‘Whatever,’ I interrupt her, ‘but this Noah is not my type. He’s not serious for a start, I bet he never reads books!’

‘Not serious is good, fun! Don’t you get it?’ She puts a hand on my arm, and looks at me seriously, and caring. ‘Not everybody has to be the one, Rosie, or even the nearly one. You just need to get back in the swing of things. He can’t be unfaithful if he’s just teaching you how to have fun!’

‘I don’t need to be taught how to have fun. I have plenty of fun, thank you!’ I know I’m starting to sound huffy, a bit like a sullen child. But I do know how to have fun. My life might not be a bundle of laughs, but I like it.

‘I meant dating fun, Rosie, man fun. I know you know how to enjoy yourself. I’m sorry, I’m not having a dig, I just want to help.’

‘I know.’

‘He can help you lighten up about this whole first date thing, make it less of an issue. You never find love when you’re looking for it. It finds you when you least expect it. Believe me.’ She smiles. ‘I go out looking for men, but I just find wankers and bell-ends.’

‘You don’t!’ I laugh. Bea has always been able to lighten my mood.

‘Now and then, when I’m not chatting people up, when I’m looking the other way, some real gem comes along. I’m too stupid to realise and treat them differently, the way I should. I’m scared to, Rosie. But when that right guy creeps under your radar, you’ll realise and you’ll know just what to do because you’re so much smarter than me.’ She hugs me and I feel like I’m holding a Bea I’ve not seen before. Maybe none of us are as confident as we look. ‘It’ll happen for you, Rosie. But why not let this guy Noah help you get some first dates you actually enjoy?’

‘It’s too hard. Too embarrassing, I’m not ready. And,’ I search for some straws to grasp, ‘he’s too thin!’