‘Ropes?’ It comes out all high-pitched. I swallow and try again. ‘What do you mean ropes? And what do you mean next time, we haven’t done it a first time!’ For some reason my mind has taken a detour down a very dirty route.

‘Rosie, Rosie.’ He tuts, but he’s smiling. ‘Mind like a sewer, and I thought you were such a nice girl.’

‘I am a nice girl!’ A confused girl, but a nice girl. ‘I thought we were going to meet at that café by the park?’ Cake, not ropes.

‘Change of plan. I’ve decided we need to fast track!’

Oh no, he can’t wait to get rid of me. ‘It’s okay if you’re busy, you can just stop, I do understand.’ My fingers are crossed, I’m not quite ready for Noah to walk out of my life. Not yet. ‘I have learned quite a lot, I’m loads more confident than—’

‘Don’t be daft, it’s not that. But you’ve still got to be party-ready, yep?’

‘Yep!’ This is even more important now, after my chat to Mum. Not only have I kind of reinforced the idea that I have an actual boyfriend, and I have somehow managed to drop the name ‘Noah’ in, I am also determined to turn up on full supportive terms for her, and to stick a metaphorical two fingers up at my wayward dad by being with somebody I want to be with. This is tricky, as I am now beginning to think I do actually want somebody who is fun and flirty (like Noah) – and where the hell am I going to find somebody like that with such short notice? I think we need to jam as many lessons, and practice dates in as possible. Quickly.

‘I was thinking last night about what it is that we’re missing, and I got it.’ WTF? I lie awake wondering if he’s okay, and if not kissing him was a mistake or a good thing, and when and if he’s going to get back in touch, and he’s thinking about bondage and fast tracking me? ‘I set some objectives. You need to take a few risks in life, step outside your comfort zone.’

‘I do?’

‘You do. You need to let go of control a bit.’

‘What do you mean?’ I try to push the note of suspicion out of my voice.

‘Well, er you’re a bit reserved.’

‘No, I’m not!’

‘Well, not always.’ He’s grinning. ‘You’re a bit of a conundrum, more than direct enough when it comes to speaking your mind, but you need to dice with danger a bit – find out that it won’t kill you.’

‘Is this about me not letting you pick a drink for me!’

‘Something like that, and the fact that you picked a boring git like Steve to go out with.’

‘I was practising! It was just a date!’ I pause. ‘Oh right, I see, you’re getting me back for sorting out my own practicals!’

‘He was a safe bet.’ He chuckles again.