Chapters (78)
- Title Page
- Dedication
- Prologue
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Fifty-Seven
- Fifty-Eight
- Fifty-Nine
- Sixty
- Sixty-One
- Sixty-Two
- Sixty-Three
- Sixty-Four
- Sixty-Five
- Sixty-Six
- Sixty-Seven
- Sixty-Eight
- Sixty-Nine
- Seventy
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Remarkable Praise for Nicci French
- Also by Nicci French
- About the Publisher
“I felt guilty about him,” she said at the end, when Nat remained silent. “About how his life had gone so wrong while mine had gone so right. He made me feel how unfair life is. I thought I had to agree. He made me promise not to say anything to anyone. Including you. He said he would tell me what he wanted when he got to the cottage, but then he got killed and everything blew up in my face. I can’t believe now that I agreed to any part of it. I hate that I lied to you. But I haven’t been unfaithful. I never would. Nat? Tell me you believe me.”
“I don’t know. Why should I?”
“I swear it’s the truth.”
“This time, you mean?”
He stared at her and she flushed and looked away.
“Yes,” she said.
“I thought you trusted me,” he said eventually.
“I did! I do.”
“If you’d trusted me, and if this weird tale was actually true, then you would have told me what he had asked for as soon as it happened. We would have talked about it. I would have said it was a completely crazy thing to do; ridiculous and wrong and out of the question. We might have had a discussion or an argument. But you just made up a story. A convincing story, Jude, and what’s more, one that made you seem kind and considerate, the lovely granddaughter. You did it so well.”
“I’m sorry,” said Jude. “I’m really, really sorry.” Her voice wobbled and hot tears started rolling down her cheeks. “I’d do anything not to have done it. I can’t understand now why I did. But there was nothing between me and Liam. You have to believe me.” She leaned forward, her hands pressed together as if she was praying. “I hadn’t seen him for eleven years. I just—I just—I don’t know. Honestly, Nat, I only want you. I will never do anything like this again. Tell me it’s all right.”
“All right? Everyone will know. I look like a complete idiot.”
Was that what he cared about? Jude didn’t reply.
“I can’t think,” said Nat, standing up abruptly, screeching his chair along the tiles. “I’m going for a walk, clear my head. We can talk about it tomorrow.”
He left the flat and Jude sat with her head resting in the crook of her arms, limp and wrung out.
She felt cold and tired and she was probably hungry, though it was hard to tell because she felt sick. Maybe a migraine was on its way.
She had told Nat there was nothing going on with Liam now. But telling him that she and Liam had been together all those years ago had been too complicated and messy, so she hadn’t said anything about that at all.