Nat who she had loved and Nat who she didn’t love anymore, didn’t even know anymore. He had dissolved and in his place was a stranger with a self-righteous face and a sneering voice.

Her life had been a bubble and she had burst it.

She wondered what day it was. Yesterday had been Wednesday, when Liam had been buried in his wicker casket with his boots on top. She pictured the household walking across the marshes hand in hand and chanting.

Was it Thursday then? Or maybe it was Friday. But it didn’t really matter what day, or whether it was morning or afternoon or night, because time was no longer a river carrying her forward but a thick sludge. She heard the cat outside, meowing. It needed feeding. The plants needed watering.

She slept again, or at least she drifted in that murky world between sleeping and waking. Faces and figures and a thudding heart; the sound of rain.

Someone was ringing the doorbell again. On and on. Like a drill.

It stopped.

Silence again, and then something was making a noise at the window. Tap tap tap. She turned toward it and opened her eyes a crack.

Through the smear of her stupefied sleep-soaked exhaustion, she saw a face.

Her mother’s face pressed against the window, mouth open and hair drenched. She looked terrified, but when she saw Jude looking at her, her expression changed. She put both palms against the glass, then banged them. She was calling something.

Jude groaned. She sat up and went to the window, heaved it open.

“Oh, Judith, my darling!”

“Mum? What are you doing in the garden?”

“Your neighbor let me climb over his fence. Let me in, for God’s sake.”

Jude nodded. She felt dazed and unreal. She turned to leave the room but her mother called her back.

“Put something on first!”

Jude looked down at her naked body. She was wearing only knickers. She pulled on her jeans and sweater and went to the garden door, unbolted it and yanked it open to a rush of cold, wet air. Her mother stepped over the threshold and banged the door shut behind her.

“Mum,” she said again. She felt excruciatingly ashamed and wanted to hide somewhere.

“Oh, sweetie,” said her mother, with a catch in her voice.

She was wet through, her hair sticking to her skull, her coat dark with rain.

“What’s going on? Has something happened? Is Dad all right?”

“He’s fine. I was worried sick. I’ve been calling and calling and you never picked up, and then your friend Dee called. She said she couldn’t get hold of you and nor could anyone else. She was about to dial 999.”

“That’s crazy.”

“It’s not crazy. It’s what friends do. So here I am,” said her mother with a stuttery laugh. “In case you need rescuing.”

“I don’t,” said Jude.