Chapters (78)
- Title Page
- Dedication
- Prologue
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Fifty-Seven
- Fifty-Eight
- Fifty-Nine
- Sixty
- Sixty-One
- Sixty-Two
- Sixty-Three
- Sixty-Four
- Sixty-Five
- Sixty-Six
- Sixty-Seven
- Sixty-Eight
- Sixty-Nine
- Seventy
- Acknowledgments
- About the Author
- Remarkable Praise for Nicci French
- Also by Nicci French
- About the Publisher
As they played, Jude looked at all these people she didn’t know. Mostly she just saw their backs, but it was clear that almost everyone was strangely and beautifully dressed. She made out Liam’s parents at the front: they too had followed the instructions to wear bright clothes. Alfie was next to Tara, his mop of soft curls just showing. It was like looking at a meadow of wildflowers. She and Leila in their gray suits were the sober bookends.
There, perched on the edge, at the back, she was taken back to when she had first known Liam. She had felt exactly the same then with his exotic group of friends: like an onlooker, gazing at these other people who had some kind of secret knowledge that she was excluded from. How did they know what to do, what to wear, where to get hold of the strange garments they wore, the frightening potions they drank or smoked or snorted?
Liam had been her one brief link to that existence that she was both drawn to and distrustful of. For those months, he seemed to have seen in her what nobody else had, something that she herself had never seen in herself, only in others. And now she was here again, seeing it in these vivid, gorgeous people and not in herself. Jude looked at the way they dressed: so much cleverness and wit and panache. She looked down at what she herself was wearing. It was meant to prevent her from standing out but it probably did the opposite. She and Leila seemed to be the only people present who were playing it safe. Leila had the excuse that she was dressed for work, so really it was just her.
A lovely, cheering reel came to an end and the musicians put their instruments down. There was applause and they stood up and walked to the front and stood in a line. Irina held up her hands to silence the applause. When there was quiet, she waited a few seconds then looked at her companions on her right and her left, gave a slight nod and they began singing. The music sounded ancient—the words Jude could make out were in Latin—and suddenly it felt like the wooden walls and ceiling and floor were resonating with the sound. She felt it as a passionate expression of fellowship, something she wished she were a part of and knew that she could never be, and it broke her heart. She thought of her and Nat, their messy, compromised, dishonest relationship. That was what she had had—and Liam had had this, and he had lost it.