Sitting at my desk in my office in Midtown, I mumbled the words under my breath as I read through the fourth article of the morning on Saint Anthony’s Feast, an Italian festival taking place in Boston over the upcoming weekend, making sure I had every fact checked before approving my post to Facebook. My boss had encouraged me to start posting about events that could revolve around a day or weekend trip so we could diversify and grow our audience. Working on the social media team at Sway, I got to attend a wide variety of events to feature on our site. Our followers relied on us for honest entertainment reviews, so I always made sure it would be worth their time and money.

After being raised in a loud, Italian family, picking Saint Anthony’s Feast to focus on this month was a no-brainer for me. I’d dreamed of dancing along to the music in the street and tasting all the fresh mozzarella and pasta that I could get my hands on. Now that I knew I didn’t have Italian blood coursing through my veins after all, I felt like a phony as I drummed-up hype on an event that looked different through the new lens of my true history.

Clicking through a few links on the last news article I was browsing, my eyes caught sight of a photo of two young women. It was paired with the headline, BOSTON ROOMMATES DAVIS AND WILSON STILL MISSING NINE MONTHS LATER.

That’s so sad, I thought to myself as I took in their features. They looked similar in age to myself and Andie, living together just like us. Hopefully they’re found soon. Although I knew after that much time had passed, the odds of a happy outcome went down drastically. I hoped they’d run away together and started a new life somewhere else, instead of the darker but more likely scenario. Just as I was ready to cave into temptation and click the news article to read more, feeling the all too familiar itch to know the details, I caught sight of the time and realized I had to get my post up ASAP. I quickly clicked back to Facebook and proofed my copy one last time.

Normally I would be eager to get ahead on research for future posts but it’d been hard to focus on work recently, as my thoughts constantly fell on the mystery of my biological family. A notification popped up on my screen, grabbing my attention from my mindless Instagram scrolling. The adoption agency, finally! I leaned forward on my seat, clicking the email and reading it quickly. My excitement turned to disappointment as I reached the end.