Andie pulled the car up outside Gram’s house and parked. She put a hand on my shoulder, pulling me out of my twisted train of thought, and said, ‘We can try again when we get home tonight.’ She smiled and said, ‘Now, let’s do this.’

I grimaced a little but exited the car with her. I closed the car door behind me very slowly, dragging out the moment for as long as I could. Before the truth of my history came to the surface, I would have been eagerly rushing in to see my family. Now my stomach churned with each step I took. I had been skillfully dodging calls from my parents, unsure how to talk to them since uncovering their deceit. I even tried getting out of the visit today but Andie convinced me to tag along, rightly pointing out that I’d have to face them eventually. The longer I avoided it, the harder it would become. At the same time, the nagging part of me always itching to know more wanted to confront them for more answers. I took a deep breath and picked up the pace to keep in step with Andie.

We walked up the familiar paved path that snaked through the grass in front of Gram’s house in Paterson, New Jersey. The exterior of the mid-sized home was a mix of neutral siding panels and grey stone sections. We’d been coming here for family dinner on Sundays since we were kids, although in recent years, we’d missed more of them due to work and life across the river. Dinner was a very loose term as it actually took place in the late afternoon after Mass, but this was always what we called it and it was much too heavy a meal to be considered lunch anyway. Gram’s was a warm home, decorated in her eclectic collection of religious relics and floral curtains that matched the antique couches and armchairs. Many of the rooms upstairs were small but the formal dining room was large and always busting at the seams with loud family members. As we got closer to the front door, I slowed my steps slightly as my nerves mounted.

‘Come on Lizzie, you have to get it over with. Like ripping off a Band-Aid,’ Andie said, grabbing my arm and dragging me forward faster. I pulled my arm out of her grip.

‘I know, I just don’t even know how to talk to them. And the whole family is going to be here, most of whom knew and kept this from me. It’s embarrassing being the last one to know the truth about my own life.’