‘It’s not fair!’ I’d shouted at Amber after I slammed the door, stamping my feet. ‘You’ve ruined everything!’ Then I’d looked down at Amber’s little face. She looked so sad, sucking her thumb, her big blue eyes glistening with tears. I sighed and crouched down in front of her, putting my hands on her shoulders. ‘Don’t listen to silly Gwenny. We can build a snowman later, after you watch some telly.’

Amber’s eyes lit up. ‘Yay!’

As Amber settled down in front of the TV, I paced up and down, trying to figure out what to do. I had no idea where Finn lived nor did I have a number for him. We’d just agreed he’d come to the house at two.

I looked at Amber, who was happily watching some kids’ programme. Maybe if I exhausted her in the snow all morning, she’d nap in the afternoon? She did that sometimes. Once she’d even slept for four hours when I was looking after her, which was bliss!

‘Right,’ I said, clapping my hands. ‘Let’s go and get all our snow stuff ready. We’ll need a carrot too for the snowman.’

‘Snow lady!’ Amber said, jumping up in excitement.

‘Yep, snow lady,’ I replied, laughing.

We spent all morning playing in the snow and I actually enjoyed myself. Sometimes, it felt good to feel like a child instead of the teenager I was growing into. I suppose Amber brought that out in me, the innocence and sense of play, no angst and hormones. When we returned indoors, exhausted, we both lay on the sofa together and I remember singing to her quietly as I stroked her soft red hair. And even though she was messing up my plans, in that moment I’d never felt more love for my little cousin. Especially when I saw her eyelids start drooping, her small mouth twisting into a yawn. My plan had worked!

When I was sure Amber was asleep, I gently carried her upstairs and placed her in my bed. I waited for a few moments, fearing she would suddenly wake. But she didn’t. Instead, she sighed in contentment and curled up under my duvet, popping her thumb in her mouth.

I checked my watch. Just ten minutes until Finn would arrive. I peered out. The snow was starting to come down a bit more heavily, the skies so grey it almost looked dark outside. What if he didn’t make it? I crossed my fingers and hoped to die that he would. Then I checked my hair in the mirror, dotted some blusher on my cheeks and changed into a low-cut top I’d hidden from my mum beneath my bed. Then I ran downstairs, where I bit my nails and paced back and forth until I heard a knock on the door.