I watched Lumin the next day as she stared out of the window, waiting for the first glimpse of her father and I ached to know what was going through her little mind. She’d taken the news about Dylan visiting with calm acceptance and a small smile. Now, as my heart floundered and I struggled to get my words out, she went over to the table and opened her pad. Then she began to draw something.

‘Does he like to draw?’ she asked. I nodded, telling her Dylan loved to make figurines out of wood and drawing animals too. ‘Did he draw the animals in your notepad?’ Lumin asked, eyes straying towards the notepad I always kept with me.

I nodded again.

‘Well, if he likes wood, he’ll like trees,’ she said, finishing a drawing of a tree with a flourish.

She carefully ripped the page out and went back to the windowseat, holding her picture tight in her little hand, ready to give to him when he arrived.

I sat beside her, taking her other hand. ‘Feeling okay?’

‘Do you think he’ll like my drawing?’

I smiled. ‘I know he will.’

As I said that, Dylan’s car drew up. He looked out of his car window towards us, towards my daughter – our daughter. And I could tell from his face he was doing all he could to contain his emotions. He stepped out of the car, smiled and waved.

Lumin lifted her hand too in a small wave, smiling hesitantly. ‘Is that him?’

‘It is.’

‘He’s very big.’

I laughed. ‘Yes.’

Dylan went to the boot of his car and got out a large box, put it under his arm and walked up the path. Lumin ran to the door, suddenly so confident and excited, and opened it.

‘Is that for me?’ she asked, looking at the box.

Dylan took in a deep breath as he looked at her, eyes shiny with tears. ‘Of course it is.’

The look on his face seemed to make Lumin shy. She leant into me, wrapping her arm around my waist and hiding the picture she’d drawn for him behind her back.

‘Come in,’ I said, opening the door wide and letting him in, struggling to contain my own emotions. Lumin stuck to me, gazing up at Dylan with big eyes.

He crouched down in front of her. ‘Jesus Christ, you’re beautiful,’ he said, stroking her soft hair and exploring her face. He looked up at me and I braced myself for hate and anger in his eyes. But instead, they were filled with happiness. Lumin smiled at him shyly and pressed her cheek against my hip, her eyes going to the box he’d brought with him. I wished I could be like that, focusing my mind on the triviality of a gift rather than the big-picture emotions I was contending with at that moment.

‘Want to see what’s in it?’ Dylan asked her.