We passed two mothers I’d met at one of those baby and mother classes. Their little girls were holding hands. Clearly they met up outside the class too. I smiled and waved at them, and they waved back. I clutched Lumin’s hand even closer, apprehensive about all the years to come of friendship cliques and dramas. I ached at the thought she might feel rejected. Then I shook my head. She’d be fine. She had my grit in her. I took a deep breath and approached the gates. It was a small school, just twenty in Lumin’s class. I heard Lumin take in a shaky breath and I squeezed her hand. We walked through the gates then into the school, the two teachers we’d met on the ‘settling in day’ waiting with happy smiles.

‘Coats off,’ they said with no-nonsense cheer. ‘Then goodbye to Mummy and Daddy before sitting down.’ My heart fell at the mention of Daddy. All of a sudden I yearned for Dylan to be there, sharing my worries and the excitement at this milestone.

I helped Lumin shrug off her coat. We’d spent the past month practising doing the awkward zip up so the teachers wouldn’t be burdened with the task. Placing the coat on her designated hook, she then took in the small area where children were beginning to sit down, cross-legged. One boy was holding onto his mother, his chubby arms around her waist as he cried. I felt tears prick at my own eyes.

‘It’ll be all right, Mummy,’ Lumin said. ‘It’s only a few hours.’ Funny that she was the one reassuring me.

I smiled and crouched down, crushing her against me. ‘God, I love you.’

‘Ouch.’

‘Sorry, darling,’ I said, sweeping her feathery fringe from her eyes. ‘Have fun, okay.’

She nodded resolutely then gave me a peck on the cheek. ‘I will.’

I watched as she took her place among the other children, sitting quiet and still. They all looked so young, too young to be at school. I suddenly felt the urge to run in and take her away. But she was ready. I knew she was ready.

The fact was, my baby was no longer a baby.

I tried not to think of Lumin too much as I drove towards the coast to do some filming. I knew if I did, I’d just turn back and pluck her out of that class. Instead, I focused on the job ahead. I was meeting Steve to film some teal ducks. They were migrating south after their breeding season in Iceland and we were in prime spot to capture their flight.

I approached the stretch of icy beach. We’d had some snow the past few days, and half the beach sparkled white with it. But closer to the sea, the sand had won the battle against the ice, and its wet gold contrasted with the strip of white farther inshore.