“You okay?” Kael’s voice was soft, just enough to keep me standing upright.

I nodded and my eyes filled with tears. Why? What the hell is wrong with me? The more I tried to stop the tears, the more my eyes filled. I was beyond tired. Tired from working, from the stress of my bills piling up, from everything. I had forgotten that my brother was on his way and he still hadn’t called me.

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I blinked up at the dim ceiling lights. One was out. Of course it was.

“What did I tell you about ‘sorry’?” He half smiled and lifted his hand into the air between us, hesitantly petting my head.

The tears poured over at his gentle affection. He somehow knew that I needed someone to be there, to tell me things would be fine.

“Wow. I’m sor—” I stopped myself from apologizing again. He’s right, I do that a lot. Most of the women I know do.

“Almost did it again.” I smiled, pulling myself through my random meltdown in the center of the kitchen. It was a real smile. I was confused and frustrated and tired, but I wasn’t embarrassed. The thought that maybe I should be crossed my mind for only a brief moment. Embarrassment is one of the worst emotions people are forced to feel. I’ve spent my life trying to avoid it.

Abandoning his typical emotionally unavailable look, Kael offered a smile that was bigger than mine, still a tiny bit awkward but he held his composure. He had a few different levels of smiles. This one was probably a six, if I had to guess. I wondered if I would ever get to see his totally unabashed level-ten smile. Would I ever see this man full of happiness, with weightless shoulders? I shook my head at myself, forcing the thoughts into quietness.

“I’m going to go to bed. I had a really long day and I’m so tired that I’m all over the place.” I waved my hands between us, shifting the weight of my body to my left, and moved past him.

I purposely avoided eye contact and forced my gaze to follow the straight line ahead of me to my living room. I desperately hoped Elodie wasn’t awake and listening to us. She wasn’t really the sneaky type, though. She usually led with her opinions and voice. I admired it. Envied it, even.

The night sky washed over my living room, where Elodie slept. Her elbow was still bent oddly over her head and her legs were dangling off the cushion.

“Should I wake her? So you don’t have to sleep in the chair?” I turned to Kael as he stepped behind me to lock my front door. The dead bolt, too.

“I’m fine with the chair.”