“I have a lot of shit to make up for before my life is over.” Kael’s confession startled me. His voice slipped a little at the end and the gravity of what he was saying ate at me. My throat burned and I swallowed, trying to dilute it, but it didn’t work. It was physically painful to think about the kinds of things Kael had seen at his age—at our age.

I wished I was someone who wasn’t so affected by the emotions around me. It would have been easier not to take on other people’s troubles, not to make them my own, but I’d always felt so much, ever since I was a child. I was always either burning or floating, moving from one extreme to another. “Karina feels things deeply,” my mother said of me. “She takes things to heart.”

Kael cleared his throat. I wanted so badly to ask him what he had to make up for, but I wanted him to tell me at his own pace, not because I asked. I could feel him next to me, brewing, but I kept my eyes on the sky, blinking and watching as blue swirled into orange. I pictured him with a gun strapped to his chest, a boyish smile. I didn’t know what he’d experienced over there, but that blank stare on his face . . . I had to say something.

“I don’t think it works like that. Your life isn’t a debt for someone else’s sins. You’re a good person, you deserve to be safe.”

My words fell short of all that I wanted to say, but I wanted him to feel everything I felt for him in that moment.

“Safe?” he asked, as the clouds drifted over us. “From who?”

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Somehow between our talks of gods and war, Kael accepted my invite to the party tonight. I was a little nervous for him and Austin to meet. My brother liked everyone, but I really wanted Kael to like him, and this house party probably wasn’t the best way to make that a reality. I drove there, and when we arrived I didn’t hear loud music or see bright lights as we pulled up. And nobody had spilled onto the lawn. That had to be a good sign.

“Doesn’t seem too bad,” I said.