“Indulgence in anything never ends well. Get your shit together or you’re going to fuck up your life.” Kael was serious, and his focus was on Austin’s drunk smile turning into a sad one.

“I know. I’m done drinking,” Austin said, followed by, “Gonna sleep it off . . . drink water in morning . . .” His eyes fluttered closed.

“What was that about?” I looked at Kael with harsh eyes as we walked down my dad’s lawn. Austin was barely coherent and didn’t defend himself or make excuses like he usually would have. My brother on drugs? He could barely afford to get his hair cut, let alone buy drugs and keep up with his love of alcohol and Chipotle.

“I’m only trying to help,” Kael said.

“Well, don’t. Or at least talk to me about it first before you say something like that to him again.”

“Really, that’s what you’re saying to me right now?”

I was defensive and Austin was my twin. He wasn’t on heavy drugs. He knew better than that. He just drank way more than he ever should have and didn’t know when to stop.

“I think it’s best if neither of us talk,” I said, trying to regulate my emotions, but not doing a great job of it.

We got into his truck and kept conversation to a minimum. His brows were pulled, his eyes deep in thought. I knew my behavior was unfair and I didn’t know if I could stop it. I was hurt and embarrassed and not exactly great at controlling my acting out. Another thing to send my mom a thank-you postcard for if I ever got an address for her someday. This wasn’t Kael’s fault, I knew that. I needed to grow the hell up and stop lashing out. I would break the cycle, even though it was really fucking hard. Regardless of our sticky relationship, Kael and I were friends and I cared about and respected him enough to stop myself from doing what I would normally do, taking my hurricane of emotions out on everyone around me.

He had been through enough: the MP nearly took a nightstick to his already injured leg! The scene had been horrifying and the memory of it was a hundred times worse. It had to be a thousand times worse for Kael. But how dare I make this about me or Austin!