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Chapters (73)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Prologue
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. Chapter Eighteen
  22. Chapter Nineteen
  23. Chapter Twenty
  24. Chapter Twenty-One
  25. Chapter Twenty-Two
  26. Chapter Twenty-Three
  27. Chapter Twenty-Four
  28. Chapter Twenty-Five
  29. Chapter Twenty-Six
  30. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-One
  35. Chapter Thirty-Two
  36. Chapter Thirty-Three
  37. Chapter Thirty-Four
  38. Chapter Thirty-Five
  39. Chapter Thirty-Six
  40. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-One
  45. Chapter Forty-Two
  46. Chapter Forty-Three
  47. Chapter Forty-Four
  48. Chapter Forty-Five
  49. Chapter Forty-Six
  50. Chapter Forty-Seven
  51. Chapter Forty-Eight
  52. Chapter Forty-Nine
  53. Chapter Fifty
  54. Chapter Fifty-One
  55. Chapter Fifty-Two
  56. Chapter Fifty-Three
  57. Chapter Fifty-Four
  58. Chapter Fifty-Five
  59. Chapter Fifty-Six
  60. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  61. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  62. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  63. Chapter Sixty
  64. Chapter Sixty-One
  65. Chapter Sixty-Two
  66. Chapter Sixty-Three
  67. Chapter Sixty-Four
  68. A Letter From Rob
  69. Acknowledgements
  70. DI Dani Stephens
  71. Books by Rob Sinclair
  72. About the Author
  73. Also by Rob Sinclair

‘I don’t want to!’ I scream, jumping up from my chair.

I swipe my arm across the table and the plastic counters clatter to the ground. I glare over at McNair who hasn’t even flinched. I wonder again if she’s really there at all.

‘Dani, sit down!’ Greg says, not shouting, but I can tell for once he’s losing his cool with me. His response only fires me up further. I heave and upend the table and it crashes against Greg’s legs. He squirms back in shock as two burly porters rush towards me.

My brain is acting on pure instinct now. This anger, the outbursts, it’s like a survival mode. I wish there was an off button for it, but so far I’ve not found one.

I know the nurses and doctors here don’t want to hurt me; that I’m not a prisoner, no matter how much I feel like I am sometimes. They just want to help me. To protect me. Yet somehow as the porters come forwards, I find myself swinging back my arm and balling my fist. I throw a punch into the first man’s face and he clatters to the ground, but seconds later the other man has me restrained, pinning my arms. I’m kicking, screaming, writhing. I just want them to get off me, but the more I protest, the harder their response, and the more I protest. It’s a vicious cycle my brain won’t allow me to break.

Out of the corner of my eye I spot McNair. She slowly, calmly, turns and walks away. The staff struggle to contain me as I continue to rage. After a couple of minutes of grappling there are three men pinning me to the ground as I continue to buck and twist and shout. A nurse hovers over me. I feel the pinch as the needle is pressed into my flesh. I feel the cold liquid surging through my veins.

A few seconds later I’m genuinely relieved when a sense of calm washes over me and my eyes draw shut.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Thursday morning was grey and grim. Dani couldn’t help but think of her time in hospital, of that visit from McNair, of all the pain and anguish she’d been through, as she headed into the office for the early morning team briefing that she’d set up. It wasn’t the thought of the briefing that had her mind turning over, but the appointment to visit Ben that she’d be heading to soon after.