BooksBarbecue
Back The Double Save as PDF
Chapters (63)
  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. 3
  4. 4
  5. 5
  6. 6
  7. 7
  8. 8
  9. 9
  10. 10
  11. 11
  12. 12
  13. 13
  14. 14
  15. 15
  16. 16
  17. 17
  18. 18
  19. 19
  20. 20
  21. 21
  22. 22
  23. 23
  24. 24
  25. 25
  26. 26
  27. 27
  28. 28
  29. 29
  30. 30
  31. 31
  32. 32
  33. 33
  34. 34
  35. 35
  36. 36
  37. 37
  38. 38
  39. 39
  40. 40
  41. 41
  42. 42
  43. 43
  44. 44
  45. 45
  46. 46
  47. 47
  48. 48
  49. 49
  50. 50
  51. 51
  52. 52
  53. 53
  54. 54
  55. 55
  56. 56
  57. 57
  58. 58
  59. 59
  60. 60
  61. 61
  62. 62
  63. Acknowledgements

The odour pricks his nostrils, and when he ventures a sip, the taste is pleasantly sweet. After drinking half, his limbs feel lighter and his jaw loosens. Though it’s only the second time he’s drunk liquor in his life, he’s heard about alcohol being a social lubricant. Now he understands. He twirls the empty glass in his hand and smiles. Only to look away nervously as he catches sight of a girl staring at him. Her long, dark hair is brushed back from her forehead and held by a clip. The green-and-orange paisley dress reveals a great deal of leg. Is she about to come over? He feels a flash of panic.

If she asks, he will tell her his name is Manuel and that he hails from a village in southern Spain. After the humiliation during his first week in Paris, when those three girls invited him to join them for a drink, he’s sworn off telling anyone his real name or where he is from. His Spanish is rusty, which might give him away, but they’re supposed to speak French together anyway.

A blonde girl in a blue dress and string of white beads keeps looking his way. She’s about to head over when a plump boy with dark, springy hair smoothed down with pomade hijacks her attention. Another girl, sporting a black beret and dressed in a lumpy crocheted vest over a short green skirt, casts him a friendly glance. One oddball to another is how he interprets it. But he’s too afraid to talk to her. His hands are sweaty, the necktie too tight. What he wants most is to flee.

Misfit that he is, what is he doing here, anyway? Why had he ever thought he had the right to be in this gilded room, an impoverished boy from a backwards country, stranded amongst the gilt and crystal? A peasant whose origins would be exposed the moment he opened his mouth. The girl in the black beret looks too smart to fall for his claim of Spanish heritage. Maybe, if he’s lucky, no one will ask. It’s not as if they’re wearing nametags with their personal histories branded in ink.

Manuel. He practises the name under his breath. She’s coming his way, and he panics. Breathe, he counsels himself. Breathe and you’ll be fine. Manuel. He tries out the sound on an exhalation of breath. Here she comes. He remembers to smile. Je m’appelle Manuel. Enchanté de faire ta connaissance.

25

Clinique Les Hirondelles
Saint-Odile, Switzerland
27 November 2008

A heavy snowfall, the first of the season, had blanketed the valley in a layer of white. Vidor dragged his feet behind the fidgety lad who escorted him to the arts building on the other side of the Zen garden. After depositing him at the door like an unwanted package, the attendant gave him an odd look and scuttled away.