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Back The Double Save as PDF
Chapters (63)
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  63. Acknowledgements

‘Reinstatement of your position at the college is contingent upon my advice that you’re well enough to resume your duties.’ He moved to the desk and consulted Vidor’s file. ‘Since I most certainly cannot give such assurance to your Chancellor, you’ll have to find another way into his good graces. Would you like to see the letter?’ Gessen held up a sheet of ivory writing paper, with the gold crest of the university engraved on top.

Vidor’s face flushed. ‘I’ve got a lab to run and a grant proposal to write. Does he expect me to lounge around here in these glorified pyjamas while my rivals snatch a key breakthrough from under my nose?’

Gessen removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Some patients needed more time than others to accept they were ill. Getting to that point was often akin to hauling a bucket of rocks up a mountain. One arduous step at a time. ‘It’s not only your Chancellor keeping you here. There’s the more serious matter of the assault charge. There’ll be an arraignment as soon as you’re released.’

‘Assault?’ Vidor’s fury collapsed like a dead balloon. ‘But how can I be held responsible for something I can’t remember?’

‘So you claim. But that won’t hold up in a court of law.’ Gessen waited for this to sink in. ‘You need a doctor – a psychiatrist – to argue that you were not yourself at the time of the attack, and that your act of violence was due to diminished responsibility.’ He laced his fingers together. ‘As I’ve said, you’re free to go whenever you wish. But I hope you’ll see the value of staying on here.’

Rain lashed the windows. Far below, in the windswept valley, all was grey. For a moment Gessen had a vision of himself and Vidor as two strangers set adrift in a leaky boat, foundering at sea. He pressed a button on his phone to summon the attendant.

‘Take some time to think about it,’ Gessen said, noting the aggrieved look in Vidor’s eyes. ‘If you do decide to stay, I should warn you that our work together won’t be easy, and the outcome far from certain. Much will depend on you.’

8

Sheltering under the umbrella of a young man from Eritrea, who appeared to be one of his personal minders, Vidor retrieved from his inside pocket the scrap of paper he’d found next to his plate at breakfast.

In the middle of the journey of our life, I found myself in a dark wood, for the straightforward path was lost. It is a hard thing to speak of – how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood was – that the very thought of it renews my fear. – Dante, The Divine Comedy.