‘Don’t you hate these stupid ads? Look at this.’ She leaned across and poked his arm. ‘All these beautiful young people, posing as a happy family. It’s so fake. They’re just models, yet we’re supposed to believe this is some love-struck couple cavorting in an Alpine meadow with their perfectly behaved children. Crazy, yeah? It’s these stupid ads that make reproducing seem like a good thing.’ She leaned closer. ‘Look, here’s another one. A diamond is forever. Ha! Tell that to my ex. Can you believe he asked for my engagement ring back, after our divorce? Such an ass.’

Vidor’s mouth puckered in horror. Every muscle strained to flee, but an unyielding force kept him pinned to the chair, as if they were two passengers trapped together on an aeroplane, with no possibility of escape.

She hauled herself from the chair. ‘Look at this bruise on my leg,’ she said, lifting her robe to reveal a well-larded thigh. High up near her hip bloomed a nasty patch of purple and green. ‘I’m pretty sure it’s cancer. Leukaemia probably. Bruises like this are a symptom, you know.’ She pulled open her robe to reveal more flesh spilling from a too-small red bikini and pointed at the surgical scars criss-crossing the doughy flesh of her abdomen. Vidor flinched and looked away. What next? Was she going to pull out a breast and ask him to examine that as well?

‘Look at these scars. Do you know how many surgeries I’ve had? And the idiot doctors say they can’t find anything wrong with me. How can I have so much pain if nothing is wrong?’ She flopped back into the chair. ‘And they think I’m the one who’s crazy.’

As his mind sought an escape route, it struck him that her accent wasn’t German at all. If anything, it sounded American. In one of the Movement & Meditation sessions, hadn’t she told some long-winded story of being forced to move out of her flat in Berlin?

‘So what are you in here for?’ She fanned her face with a chubby hand.

‘I don’t believe we’re supposed to ask each other that,’ he said in a chilly voice.

‘Come on, I won’t tell.’ She winked and slapped his arm. Her mouth resembled a sucked lemon. Why not yank her chain and have some fun?

‘I tried to kill my father and brother.’ He said this with a straight face and solemn tone.

Her eyes widened in alarm, just as he’d hoped, and he bit his lip to keep from smiling. ‘During an ill-fated family reunion. Such gatherings are best avoided, in my opinion. Too many people with axes to grind trapped in the same room drinking bad wine.’

He could practically hear her heart patter with excitement. She sat up and hugged her plump knees. ‘What happened?’