Chapters (63)
‘I prefer to think of it as “void”. The call of the void. It’s an actual neuropsychological phenomenon,’ Vidor said, warming to the subject. ‘I’m sure Dr Gessen could enlighten you further on the psychology of it, but from a neurological perspective it describes the urge one gets, usually not acted upon, fortunately, when standing on a high platform. Or the side of a mountain. The seductive urge to fling oneself into open space. It’s not a suicidal wish, more like a compulsion. Possibly tied to dopamine disturbances in the brain.’
Officer Müller’s pen was poised in mid-air, as if contemplating whether or not to write any of this down.
‘I feel it myself at times,’ Vidor said, with what he hoped was a note of existential sorrow. ‘It’s particularly acute here, so high on the escarpment, and that vast bowl of empty space calling out to us, day and night. My solution is not to go near the edge. Perhaps young Mr Mahmoud felt, to his peril, inexplicably drawn to the call of that open space.’ He looked from one officer to the other. At last, he had a captive audience. ‘Or perhaps he simply lost his balance and fell.’
* * *
The snow was coming down fast, though more like shards of ice than downy flakes, and a bitter wind lashed the pines. Vidor welcomed the change in weather, the first real storm of the season to reach the valley, and a harbinger of what might be in store when the full force of winter arrived. Soon, the clinic would be cut off from the world. Subjected to the howling winds that shook the trees and scoured the granite outcrops. A reminder of how insignificant they all were, as they travelled through space and time on a whirling blue sphere, unaware of the meaning, if any, of their place in the cosmos.
In the English Fens there were often strong winds, but little in the way of snow. With the storm upon them, Vidor felt a surge of pleasure in the full force of the elements. As long as he was somewhere warm and dry, let it snow. Let the blizzards obliterate the landscape in crystalline fury. Surely, the clinic was equipped with a backup generator, though he could imagine the mayhem that might ensue should they be plunged into darkness and left to freeze like carcasses of beef.