‘He wasn’t the man I thought he was.’ She shrugged. ‘He was head stockman here after my grandfather died. I thought we were both in love, but the month we found out I was pregnant, he left. Took off to work as a contract musterer. I suspect he’d also discovered that Setabilly wasn’t going to make him a rich man and that my family had debts from previous years. I’d never gone into the finances and it wasn’t a pleasant surprise for him.’

‘Not someone you’d want to spend your life with.’

‘Absolutely. But he did make me wary of allowing my heart to rule my head.’ Lot of good that’s done me in the last week, she thought.

‘So your mother and grandmother were supportive?’

‘Every step of the way. Like lionesses, lined up beside me, unmoving, warrior women guarding me during labour and early motherhood, and while surgeons tried to operate on my baby. The first two they were successful with. Nobody could help me with the third.’ She remembered the morning she’d met Zac. ‘Before I met you on the plane, I’d been thinking of her at the airport. It was probably why I was vulnerable to your scintillating conversation on the flight.’ She wondered if he’d been thinking about Roslyn.

He said, ‘Any age is tough for loss, and twenty and single is tough for any birth, let alone one that ends in a baby dying.’ He thought about that. ‘No wonder you’re composed in your work.’

‘I’ve been blessed. My mother and grandmother were rock-solid supporters through everything. They showed me they were proud of me, and reminded me to be proud of myself. I remember every minute of being a parent and regret none of it.’ She glanced at him. ‘But you’re right. Guilt is out there ready to pounce. Forgiving yourself is underpromoted. I was a mother for a very short time and she changed me. Having known Amelia helps me every day in my work, especially the midwifery.’

‘I can see how she would. Thank you for telling me.’

The car sped down the highway towards their destination, and despite the emotion and scars from the past, despite the solemnity of the little white crucifix at the side of the road and the shared grief from different tragedies, empathy had cracked the walls between them and they both stared ahead with mutual understanding.

Chapter Twenty

Zac

An hour and a half later, the sun appeared and disappeared as clouds skittered past in a grey-blue sky. Zac’s legs ached for a stretch, despite it being less than ninety minutes since they had last stopped.