They looked at each other and the smiles died. ‘Yes, I would. So much so that I don’t want to talk about it.’ She tried a joke. ‘Or about weddings.’ They both knew that comment fell flat.

Ava stepped back to try to explain. ‘We connected last week, Mum. Big time. I know there’s a chance Zac won’t ever remember and I’ll have lost something very special. So thank you for having him here.’ She drew in the air to calm herself. ‘He makes me feel so incredible, so … different.’ Her belly kicked as she thought of them tangled together and she glanced away as the heat rose in her cheeks. He made her feel sexy as hell. Like a desirable woman. Resolutely she went on. ‘I know that it’s probable, especially now, that he’ll go back to his high life, which I could never fit into. Even last week in Sydney at the course, the busyness of the place drove me mad.’

‘I think so, too.’ Stella nodded, and Ava couldn’t miss the relief that flashed across her mother’s face. And something that looked strangely like guilt. Why would her mother feel guilty about that?

‘Don’t celebrate too soon, because I have to believe Zac will remember me and then it will be our business. Then all you have to do is bless us. But at least my trust bone has healed after Jai. And maybe if there has to be a time “after Zac”, I will be more open to the idea of trusting someone else. Get married, have children.’ Her thoughts spiralled to a little white coffin. ‘Though that would be scary.’ The idea of losing another child made the sweat break out on her body. She couldn’t go through that again.

Stella nodded again. ‘I understand. It’s your life. I just don’t want you to set yourself up for disappointment like I did.’

‘What disappointment? You always said you loved Dad?’

‘I loved Noah, all right. Very much. But –’ her mother stepped back and lifted her chin – ‘I haven’t done everything right in my life.’

Ava didn’t understand where this was coming from. ‘You didn’t have much choice with Dad dying while you were in Sydney.’

Stella sighed. ‘Except I wasn’t in Sydney when your father died.’ Her eyes met Ava’s and there was a plea for understanding in them. ‘I’d already left him. The week before.’

Ava’s breath hitched. ‘Mum?’