She looks away from me but not before I see the way her eyes glisten. I lean back against the wall. What would it be like to lose your past like that? I try to decide if I’d be grateful to never know what it feels like to have had a place where I felt like I belonged.

If I didn’t have anything to compare my current life with, would I be content?

“I’m not an angel,” my sister says, her voice cracking. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of.”

“We all have,” I respond automatically. “That’s the nature of the world we live in.”

But she shakes her head. She opens her mouth as if to say something and then closes it, staring out toward the City for a long while. I listen to the rhythm of our breathing, the wind off the river buffeting against the building.

“Catcher told me about what happened between you two on the roof,” she finally says.

“What?” I groan and bury my head in the quilts piled up around me. My entire body burns with a mortified heat. “Why?”

The bed shifts as my sister sits next to me again, her hand trailing through my hair. “He’s worried about you. He wanted me to make sure you’re okay.”

I squeeze my eyes closed, hoping to block all this out. “I’m fine.” My voice is muffled. I’d prefer it if the bed could just swallow me whole.

My sister takes a deep breath. “There’s something you need to know.” Her tone is so serious it sends chills down the back of my neck. Slowly, I raise my head and push myself up. Her face is drained of color, tense lines crinkling her forehead.

She stands and paces to the window and back again. “Catcher and I used to be together.”

My eyes narrow in confusion. It’s the accusation I’d thrown at Catcher on the roof but I hadn’t really believed it. I’d just been angry and wanted to hurt him the way he hurt me.

“B-before Elias,” she stammers. “Well, mostly before.” Words tumble from her lips and she keeps pacing in quick little circles as if her body can no longer contain the energy inside.

“We’d always known each other—he was my best friend’s brother—and I was fascinated by him and one night we kissed and then …” She swallows and I watch her throat tighten.

My own chest crushes with the weight of her confession. Jealousy builds up in my stomach at the thought of her and Catcher kissing. Of him running his fingers down her perfect face and how it must feel when he touches mine.