“But you said he only wants me because of the baby. It’s you he loves, Catherine. You he’s always loved. He’s just doing what he thinks is the right thing.”

She gives me a suspicious look. “You’re just saying that because you want me to help you.” She laughs through her nose. A dismissive exhalation. “Believe me, it’ll be better for everyone if you lose this baby. You’re not fit to be a mother. No child would be safe with you. You’ve said as much yourself.”

I blink back the tears. She knows my deepest fears, because I, like the trusting fool I was, shared them with her. All the advice she gave me, the encouragement. It was all just more of her bullshit.

Well, two can play at that game.

“Ross doesn’t love me,” I say. “I’ve always known that, deep down. I always knew he was out of my league. In normal circumstances, he’d never have looked twice at someone like me. Don’t you think I know that? I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

A faint smile plays on her lips. She likes what she’s hearing. She’s a narcissist.

“He kept making excuses for not making love to me. Saying he was too tired. That he wasn’t in the mood. It’s a miracle I got pregnant at all.”

“You can hardly blame him for that, can you?” she says.

I shake my head, sadly. “No, I can’t. Not when he had someone like you. You’re so…” I clench my toes. “You’re so lovely. I bet he wishes this was your baby. Yours and his.” The words stick in my throat, but I force them out. To my ears, they sound flimsy and fake, but I have to try. “He called out for you sometimes, when he was sleeping.”

The lie hangs between us and, for a second, I wonder if I’ve gone too far. She holds my gaze. Her expression doesn’t change, but the quality of the silence does. Emboldened, I carry on.

“You’re my sister, Catherine. My flesh and blood.”

She bristles at the words. That was a mistake. I shouldn’t have said that. I quickly change tack. “Ross’s baby is part of you, too. This baby will be your niece.”

There’s a pause. Something unreadable flickers in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry Alice died,” I say. “And you’re right. I was jealous of her. Because she was everything I knew I’d never be. Just like you’re everything I can never be. And I was shouting at her that day. But I didn’t push her, Catherine. I didn’t push her under that train. I promise you. I had a seizure, and when I woke up…when I woke up, she was gone.”