Back in the bedroom, I change into a summer frock. Something loose and cool and comfortable. Then I pull down my rucksack and drag my suitcase out from under the bed. I won’t be able to pack everything, but at least I can take more than one change of clothes this time.

It’s actually a good thing that Mum and Dad won’t be there when I arrive. I’m not sure I could cope with their shock and anger. Their disappointment. I need time to let my own feelings out, to nurse my conflicted emotions in private, before having to deal with theirs, too.

When I’ve packed everything I can, I zip up the case and rucksack and start to carry them downstairs. All I have to do now is retrieve my tote bag from the saucepan cupboard where I stuffed it last night, pack the rest of my medication, and call a taxi. I’ll write a note to Ross while I’m waiting for it to arrive.

God knows what I’ll say. He needs to be in no doubt whatsoever that we’re over, that there’s no way back from this. And I don’t want him guessing where I’ve gone and turning up on Mum and Dad’s doorstep while I’m on my own there.

I’m about halfway down the stairs when I sense something different about the house. A slight change in atmosphere. As if I’m not alone. Blood pulses in my ears. Every hair on my body stiffens.

“Ross? Are you still here?”

No reply. Of course there isn’t. Ross left hours ago. I’m imagining things. I carry on down and dump my case by the front door.

I reach for the phone on the hall table, but my hand pauses mid-air. It’s not there. Why isn’t it there? It was definitely there last night, because the sound of it ringing almost made me fall down the last few steps. Maybe Ross used it this morning, to phone one of his colleagues and let them know he wouldn’t be in. He’s probably left it in the living room, like he usually does, but when I look for it, it isn’t there. I wrinkle my nose in distaste. I can still smell Catherine’s coconut oil from when she was here last night.

I go into the kitchen to use the extension there, but that one’s missing, too. Why are both the phones missing? For fuck’s sake, I’m going to have to use the one in the bedroom. I turn back into the hallway and head for the stairs. Which is when I see that my front-door keys aren’t in the little dish by the phone where I keep them.