“No,” said Carmen, finding it in herself to smile. “Well, maybe not.” She frowned. “Where will you go?”

“Oh, don’t worry about me,” said Skylar. “I’m going to London for Christmas with Blair. Oh, sorry, is that a sore spot?”

Carmen looked at her. “Nope,” she said.

In fact, Blair had not invited Skylar at all and was making increasingly strenuous excuses to stop her from coming, but Skylar had a gleam of persistence about her and couldn’t bear to go back to her parents’ newly built tiny little house on an executive estate just outside Slough where they called her by her birth name, Janet, and lived off frozen lasagna, which they ate in front of Come Dine with Me while talking about the neighborhood-watch scheme. A fate worse than death. She’d take her chances with Blair, even if he was spending a lot of time asking her to leave the hotel as he had work to do.

“But I did want to see Oke.”

“Well, you’re too late,” said Skylar gleefully. “He’s flying out. I saw him at . . .”

She realized her mistake and stopped.

“At what?”

“Uh, at your party,” she said quickly.

“But you said he wasn’t there,” said Carmen, tears springing to her eyes.

“Um, yeah. Well, maybe I missed him then . . . anyway. You know, you look upset. You should really try meditating? And chilling? And your diet can’t help . . .”

“You. Are. Vile,” said Carmen. And she turned and fled.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Outside, the snow was thicker than ever. There wasn’t a cab to be seen anywhere. Blinded by the flakes and her tears, Carmen saw a bus coming and jumped on, waving her phone at the ticket point.

It was nearly empty, and she found a seat in the back upstairs where, as the bus trundled on, she could let the tears fall and drip down.

She thought of Mr. McCredie, living his life tied up in shame, missing opportunities because he had spurned them. She thought of herself, turning away from opportunities, from education and work and all that life had to offer, in case she failed, in case it went wrong. It had taken the combined efforts of her entire family just to get her to take a new job, which had ended up changing her life.

She had been so scared to try. She had been too timid. And look, she was too late. She sighed, tears from the weather dribbling down the window in sympathy. She looked out into the fading light. The buildings were disappearing behind her, rather than approaching, as the center of the city should be, along with home and at least the consolation of a family who loved her. Now they had crossed the bypass and were out in the countryside.