“All right then, for the last part of the evening, we’re gonna do an activity called ‘If you really knew me.’ All you have to do is answer that question. I’ll start again. If you really knew me, you’d know I’ve really been struggling this year. My grades aren’t the best because I’m majoring in something I don’t really like. I’m doing it for my dad, who has dreamed of me being a doctor like him since I was young. I’d rather be studying archaeology or even something like architecture, but my dad’s an alcoholic asshole. I live in fear of disappointing him so I just do what he says. It’s getting harder, though, to comply.”

I am shocked by Connor’s authenticity. Just like at the cliff, we all sit and witness Connor’s openness. He stares down at his plate, pushing leftover food in various directions. He looks like a defeated little boy. I’m so used to seeing white people as oppressors, I never stop to think they might have some of the same problems as me.

“Connor,” Gabby says, “I really want to thank you for sharing all that. I’m deeply moved. Ashay, brother.” Gabby takes a deep breath. “I guess I can go next.” Earnell comes shuffling back in. “Wait, wait. I heard all that. Wow, man. Wow. Bring it in, bro. Come on.” Earnell hugs a reluctant Connor, who is still sitting with his feelings.

“You’ve really shown me this weekend that we don’t always need Freddy,” Earnell says.

“Who’s Freddy?” I reach over and touch Connor’s arm while shaking my head, assuring him he doesn’t want to know.

“Don’t ask,” I say.

Earnell sits back down at the table as Gabby continues. “Well, if you really knew me, you would know I’m scared. Like all the time. Despite all my spiritual talk, I live in fear of everything. That my parents are going to die before we’ve had a chance to work out our issues. That deep down I’m not good enough. And that I’m not going to be able to live my life how I want. So many people in my family never got to pursue their dreams. Why should mine come true? It’s hard to face.”

Cornrowed Connor turns to Gabby and says, “Fuck that. You absolutely have to go after what you want. You only get one life and it’s yours to do what you will. I hope all your dreams come true, Gabby.”

Keli reaches over and hugs Gabby as she smiles at Connor. Even though Connor was addressing Gabby, we all know he was talking to himself too.

“Well, I don’t really have anything to share,” Earnell says suddenly. “Things are pretty good for me right now.” I look at Earnell dubiously.