Jennifer smiles. Her white-lady eyes water and squint. “Not at all,” she says. “It’s actually really normal to feel that way.”

She glances up at the clock. I know the time is up, but I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to be forced back into the cold and unforgiving world.

“We’re out of time, but can you come back tomorrow?” she asks. “I know it’s a bit soon, but I want to make sure you have support as we work through the details of your past. I know these sessions can kick up a lot of inner turmoil.”

“Well, I’m leaving for my freshman hiking trip tomorrow. I’ll be gone until Sunday. I can come back on Monday.”

“Perfect.”

I stand up to leave.

“Before you go,” she says. “I just want to tell you that this is courageous work, what you’re doing. I know it may not seem like it now, but the biggest storm has passed. We’re mainly dealing with aftershocks now. Surviving it was the greatest feat of all. Now comes the healing, and with that, a new understanding for who you can be in the world and who you can help as a result. I see tremendous potential in you. One who can rise.”

She looks at me as if I’m somebody great. Her compassionate gaze digs new wells of possibility in my soul. I have never known myself outside of internal strife and pain. I wonder what it might feel like to be healed. Me, the girl who builds doors I can shut anytime someone gets too close. The only person I know from my family, from my entire neighborhood, that is sort of healed is my mother, and she is still battling in many ways. What is life if it isn’t a battle?

I start to see the quiet streams and brooks she paints for me, flowing nearby. A new sun of hope rising on the horizon, shining a light on the promised land that Jennifer says can be mine. In the distance, wide-open fields of bounty and prosperity bursting forth.

“Many fields,” she says, as if she’s reading my mind. “Brimming with possibility. I hope you enjoy your trip.”

CHAPTER SIX