“Look, I have a ton to do. I don’t have time for this. We had someone drop out in room 323. You can move there.”

“Thank you,” Earnell barks before storming off.

“What’s gotten into him?” asks Connor.

“You don’t want to know.”

“How’ve you been, buddy? I haven’t seen you since last semester when you were standing on those stairs like a warrior princess. I wish I had taken a picture.”

Just as I’m about to answer, out of the corner of my eye, I catch something that my mind refuses to accept. Couldn’t be, I think to myself. There’s no way he’s a chaperone here also. I’m afraid to look. I stand in the lobby as students file in and head to their rooms. It can’t be. I’m just being paranoid. I relax and turn to look toward the door. It is.

“Oh my God. I have to run, Connor. Nice to see you! Bye!”

I race back to my room and sit on the bed. Is this purgatory? Have I died and gone to hell? Earnell AND Bryce are here. Darth is definitely riding again. Why didn’t the portal warn me about this oncoming malarkey! I’m sweating, breathing hard, clutching my imaginary pearls, saying aloud repeatedly, “Oh my God.”

“Are you OK, girl?” Myesha asks.

“What if your worst nightmare walked through the door and you can’t leave for two days! I’m going to die. Are there drugs anywhere? Do either of you have any drugs?!”

“This is not that kind of trip,” Daniel responds. “I mean that could be nice, but imagine the lawsuits. Dartmouth would be bankrupt in a year.”

The name of this retreat is Building Community: Enriching the First-Year Experience. The workshop leader, Kurt Rushbrook, is a renowned connection coach who travels the world leading these kinds of events. He’s a tall, gray-haired white man, with big hands and boots. He looks more like a park ranger than a guru. I can tell by the look in his eyes he’s going to make us do all sorts of things we are resistant to. I prepare myself for more discomfort.

After we’ve all checked in, we gather in the main hall, which is big enough to hold two hundred people. Mats, cushions, and blankets have been set up around the room. I wait for everyone to wander in before peeking to see if Bryce is here. I don’t see him (or Earnell) and choose a cushion in the back of the room. I’m relieved at how easy it is to avoid them in a group of sixty.