The road unfolds before us, just like on the hiking trip. Nature and her raw vulnerability come to greet me once more. Out here there are no masks, hiding, or pretending. Just the truth of what a thing is in its natural form. The windows are down since late April has continued to bless us with balmy spring weather. Sunshine and fresh air for miles. I inhale deeply, turning to my neighbor. “Smells good, doesn’t it?” He smiles—a wry, Grapes of Wrath looking fellow—and says, “It sure does. Nature’s intoxicating scent.” I understand exactly what he means and realize I’ve been in New Hampshire for too long. I could never say things like this a year earlier in Cleveland.

The retreat center is an hour away from campus, deep in the woods. I’ve been through this once and am not afraid to be so far into nature, even without Freddy. I make my way to my assigned room, where four bunk beds await. No one else has arrived yet, so I test each bed to see which one I like the most. I decide on the bottom bunk farthest from the bathroom. I lie on the bed waiting for my bunkmates to arrive. It doesn’t matter whether they accept me or not, I remind myself.

The first person to walk in is a Black girl from Georgia named Myesha. Even though I’ve met most Black students on campus—there aren’t that many of us—there are still some I don’t know. I can tell right away Myesha is sweet and shy but happy to see another Black face. Daniel McCullum walks in next.

“You have got to be kidding me,” he says. “Have they really put all the negroes together again?” He begins to unpack while shaking his head in disapproval.

“Sorry about that,” he continues. “Where’s my manners? How y’all doin’? Echo, what’s up, girl? How you been?”

Before I have a chance to respond, Earnell walks in, sees me, turns around, and says, “Oh no. They gon’ have to change my room. No. Definitely not.”

I run after him.

“Earnell! Earnell, come on. You can’t avoid me forever. I’m sorry.”

He ignores me and races to one of the chaperones to request a change. The chaperone spins around, dropping his clipboard. As soon as he exclaims “Goddamnit,” I know who it is.

“Connor! Come on, this is ridiculous, don’t let him bully you into moving him for no reason.”

Earnell and I both talk at the same time.

“I demand to be relocated immediately. I have a right to free speech and the power of choice, I learned that at the Dartmouth Beacon meeting. I cannot be bunkmates with this woman.”

Connor stands in stunned silence watching us argue back and forth.

“But aren’t you guys best friends?”

“Yea, well, things change,” Earnell remarks snidely.