I nod. ‘I can’t imagine what you must be going through, but please, I’m begging you, don’t put your children through it as well. They’ve been through enough already.’

She pulls herself up. ‘You’re right, I couldn’t possibly leave them with him. Look what happens when he’s in charge.’

‘You’ve both been through the worst trauma imaginable,’ I say softly. ‘But there’s nothing to gain from blaming one another. It’ll destroy you.’

She chews on the inside of her cheek, deep in thought.

‘Where are the children?’ I ask.

‘The children?’ she questions, looking at me blankly, sending a sudden rush of panic through me.

‘Yes, where are they?’

‘Oh, they’re with my parents for the night,’ she says. ‘I thought it would be easier that way . . .’

I daren’t ask her to elaborate.

‘OK, so why don’t we go and pick them up and go back to mine? It’ll give you some breathing space to think about your next move.’

She shakes her head vehemently. ‘No, they’re happy where they are.’

‘OK, so why don’t you come back then? We can talk and see how you feel in the morning.’

‘And Leon will be OK with that, will he?’

Shit, Leon.

‘Of course,’ I lie, though I can’t help but think Anna might be the distraction we both need right now. He just doesn’t know it yet.

‘D’you know what?’ she says, pulling her cardigan tighter around her as she looks out to sea. ‘I’m going to go home and talk to Nick.’

My brow furrows. ‘Are you sure that’s a good idea? Today of all days?’

She turns to look at me. ‘I can’t go on like this. I can’t keep running away from what happened. I’m tired of living in the shadows.’

‘I understand that, but I really don’t think you should go and see Nick right now, not when you’re feeling like you are . . .’

‘But perhaps I need to tell him how I’m feeling,’ she moots. ‘Because bottling everything up is clearly not doing either of us any favours. He’s lashing out and I’m walking around like a zombie. Both of us have lost the ability to communicate.’

‘I really don’t think I should let you go off on your own.’

‘I’ll be fine,’ she says, putting a hand over mine. ‘I’m sorry I scared you, but as ever, you really have helped me see things a little clearer.’

‘Anna, I—’

‘I’m OK,’ she says, locking eyes with me. ‘I promise.’

I only hope she’s telling the truth.

19