She rubs at the loop, which I can now see is worn, attached by the thinnest of threads. I imagine Ben wasn’t the only one who slept with it every night.

‘It was here,’ she says, her face crumpling as she looks around. ‘This is where he died.’

Tears immediately spring to my eyes as I imagine the little boy in the photos running around on the beach, fetching water in his bucket and making sandcastles with his devoted family. How could something so tragic have happened in this beautiful place?

‘I held him in my arms, begging him to open his eyes,’ she cries. ‘I honestly believed that if I prayed enough, he’d come back to me, but his little body had been through so much . . .’

A guttural sob ricochets around the wooden walls.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I say, pulling her into me. ‘I can’t imagine . . .’

‘I should have been able to save him,’ she croaks, her eyes searching mine. ‘My only job as his mother was to keep him safe and make sure no harm ever came to him, so how . . . how could I have let it happen?’

‘You mustn’t blame yourself,’ I offer.

‘Well, who else is there?’ she screams, turning on me; her face twisted and her lips pulled back to reveal her gums. ‘I should have trusted my instincts. I should have known not to listen to Nick; he was drunk – why would I have taken him at his word? Who in their right mind, would take the say-so of an alcoholic over the safety of their innocent child?’

I shake my head, at a loss for what to say.

‘I’ll never be able to forgive him,’ she says, jumping up off the bed. ‘And I’ll never be able to forgive myself.’

She rushes out onto the veranda, down the wooden steps and across the pebbled beach, sinking to her knees at the water’s edge.

Running to her, I fall onto the stones and pull her into me. ‘It’s OK,’ I soothe. ‘It’s OK.’

‘I need to be with Ben,’ she sobs, falling into me. ‘If I could just be with him, everything would be all right.’

“Listen to me,’ I say, holding her at arm’s length, where I can look her in the eye. ‘You still have two beautiful children who need you.’

‘But Ben needs me,’ she cries.

‘You’ll be with him in the fullness of time – he will always be waiting for you – but right now, you have to love and nurture those who are here. You are their world and, believe you me, they will never recover from losing you at such a young age.’

She looks at me as if she’s hearing me for the first time. ‘You sound as if you’re speaking from experience.’