“In a minute,” Pearl said. I could hear the anxiety in her voice. I put my arm around her waist and pulled her closer, hoping I could radiate a little confidence into her.

Steph watched the gesture with a raised eyebrow. “Wow. So you two really lean into this whole thing a hundred percent, huh? Do you even pretend when the lights are off in your hotel rooms and the doors are closed?”

“Steph,” Pearl warned.

Steph was about to say something more when a little woman even shorter than Steph and Pearl came shuffling up to us. She must’ve been in her eighties, or maybe nineties. She had a perky poof of gray hair surrounding her head, glasses that magnified her watery blue eyes that still shone with bright intelligence, and she was leaning heavily on a cane.

“Grandma Bobo,” Pearl said with a little hesitance. She bent to hug the woman, who stared up at me over her shoulder.

“So this is him?” she asked. She shuffled closer and actually jabbed at my foot with her cane. She looked up at me and ran her tongue over quivering lips. “Big fella, aren’t you? Bet your seed is strong. Big grandkids. Mhm.”

“Uhh,” Pearl said. “Grandma Bobo, that’s not super appropriate.”

“Appropriate?” the little woman snapped. “I’ll tell you about what is appropriate. Try the Cuban Missile Crisis ruining my school dance. You know I was supposed to go with Bobby Wagner? Everybody said Bobby was hung like a horse, too. And instead his family made them stay in their backyard bomb shelter all evening!”

“Grandma Bobo,” Steph said. “Tell us more about how well hung Bobby was. Pearl would like to learn more about that.”

Bobo’s eyes lit up and she started going into great and disturbing detail about where her information came from and the stories she’d heard. By the time she was finished, she’d forgotten what she was talking about and veered into a story about her first time going to a strip club and how more men should wear thong style underpants, because God didn’t create bottoms like that to be hidden behind baggy drawers.

“Well,” Pearl said after what felt like forever. “We really should go say ‘hi’ to everyone. Mom and Dad are probably wondering when they’ll get to meet Dean.”

Bobo gave my stomach a little punch that felt more like a rogue gust of wind. “I’m sure they’ll enjoy him. I’m betting you could give old Waggy Wangdoodle Wagner a run for his money in the–”

“That’s great, Grandma Bobo!” Pearl said quickly. She grabbed my arm and started leading me toward the bonfire where her parents sat. “It was really nice to see you again!”

“Stephanie, Dear. Who was that loud little woman?” Grandma Bobo asked as we were leaving.

“That was your granddaughter,” Steph said. I didn’t need to look to hear the smile in her voice.

“She’s great,” I said once we were out of earshot.

“Nobody told Grandma Bobo that her libido should maybe ease off as she got up in years.”