“Well,” I sighed. “Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out. Far be it for me to change your mind.”

“Oh, come on. You were in the exact same situation as me. We both got cheated on. I’m guessing that wasn’t the first ugly breakup in your past, either. So please, tell me with a straight face that you believe in relationships.”

I grinned. “You say it like relationships are in the same category as Santa Claus or The Keebler Elf.”

“First of all, the Keebler Elf is a cartoon made to sell cookies. He’s not even in the same category as Santa. And no, I just mean you swore off women, too. So, if you think I’m wrong, then why aren’t you dating anymore?”

“Because I swore myself to you, obviously.”

She gave me one of those dry looks she had down to a science. “Be honest with me or I’m turning out the lights.”

I grinned. “Ohh. You sound like my camp counselor from middle school. Are you going to tell me to stop shitting on the toilet seats next? And for the record, everybody knew that was creepy Carl.”

“Dean,” she warned.

I let out a breath. I wasn’t exactly sure why I was trying so hard to avoid her question. “Alright. I guess it’s not that I don’t trust women. Don’t take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you’re blaming men for the failure of your relationships. I guess I agree. Because I blame myself, too. I’m the problem. I find a way to fuck it up eventually, so at some point I guess I don’t see what the point in bothering is.”

“How was Annabelle cheating your fault?”

“Well,” I said, thinking back. “She had been complaining that I didn’t ‘see’ her. I guess I was too caught up with work.”

Pearl nodded, as if she understood me fully from that one little detail. “I see. So you’re the workaholic type?”

“Hardly. But she wanted to go out the night before she cheated. I had a meeting with a new client that I couldn’t cancel. I told her we could go another night, but she didn’t get it. She felt like I was blowing her off and went without me.”

“She was cheating on you for weeks. I heard as much from Eric.”

“Oh,” I said. “Still. It was probably something else I did.”

“That’s bullshit. Cheating was her choice. I don’t care how shitty of a boyfriend you were. She could’ve just broken things off if she was unhappy. Cheating is a loser’s escape exit. It’s jumping out of a moving car and letting it crash into an orphanage instead of staying behind the wheel to put on the brakes.”

“Wow. Vivid.” I chuckled.

Pearl looked like she was pissed on my behalf, which was cute, but she let the anger drain from her face and grinned back at me.

“I’m still bitter, if you can’t tell. Eric was the first guy to ever cheat on me. And the last,” she added with a determination I couldn’t help but see as badass.