I may not know what I wanted. But I did know if Dean and I ever gave things a chance, I’d never betray him. I’d be his. Completely and fully. Maybe that’s why I was so scared to make a move.

I flopped down on the bed and sighed. I would’ve much rather known I was going fly fishing with Dean later. Watching Lizzie get dolled up in her dress for hours didn’t exactly sound like high entertainment, but it would at least be nice to hang out with both of my sisters at once. It had been too long since we were all together.

And in some ways, I guessed it was a relief to know I didn’t need to be playing the fake girlfriend show while I was with them. At least not until dinner tonight at The Spot, that was.

26

DEAN

I was wearing a pair of highly fashionable rubber pants that went up to my nipples and were held tight by overall straps. I thought of the way Pearl would probably smile and laugh if she saw me in this fisherman’s getup, and that made me smile, too. More and more, she was sinking into my thoughts. I found myself imagining what she would say or do as I went through my day. Pearl would like that view, I’d think. Or, Pearl would really get a kick out of that old man yelling at the birds. It was concerning, to say the least.

In some ways, it felt like my experience was taking on a new flavor. Her flavor. I happened to like that flavor, too. So how was I going to like going back to my normal life after this? It was going to be like going from coffee to watered down tea. For the record, I hated tea.

I sighed and tried to pull my thoughts back to the moment, because it was quite the moment.

I was thigh-deep in the chilly water of the river that ran through Fairhope. I’d hitched a ride with Zack Ashford, one of Old Man Ashford’s grandsons. He had a bit of a mountain man look about him and he ran the animal rescue center in town. Curtis and Lane were buzzing with excitement as they rode in the bed of the truck, stringing together strange southern curses and jokes the whole bumpy ride out of town. At one point, they even burst into song.

Walter hitched a ride in my lap, but betrayed me a few times to climb over in Zack’s lap. The man appeared to have a way with animals, so I gave Walter a pass.

Zack had taken the truck straight out of town and then veered off a series of dirt roads that cut through wooded hills until we reached a basin where the river widened out, running over smooth rocks in clear runs.

I took a deep breath of the cool air, enjoying the smell of wilderness. A few birds were chittering in the evergreens around us, but the evening was otherwise quiet save for the bubble of running water around our feet and the occasional swish of a fishing line.