“It is my duty to serve you,” he said softly. Then he went down the corridor and out of sight.

“Far-­out,” Duff said.

“He’s a kook,” I agreed, “but he seems to have done the trick for us.”

We had hamburgers and coffee at a nearby restaurant (neither of us had eaten much breakfast) and then went home. Despite my relief, I was vaguely disturbed by Mr. Matson’s assurances. It didn’t seem to me that charges that serious could be dismissed so lightly. I was also concerned about what form his billing might take, considering what I knew about him.

On the other hand what did I really know? Maybe I had never seen him before. Maybe I was going around looking for people to match those I had seen in my hallucination.

On Friday afternoon Father Jackson brought me the sleeping pills. He apologized for taking so long about it, but his pharmacist friend had been away.

“It’s all right,” I said. “I haven’t needed them lately.”

“Throw those away then. Or I’ll do it.”

“No, no, I might need them again.” I opened the vial. There were about twenty white pills in it. “What kind are they?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask. And he was very reluctant to give them to me. He said not to take more than one or two a night.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be careful. And I’ll never say where I got them.”

“When are you going back East, Maggie?”

“One of these days. I still have lots of things to do around here.”

Why didn’t I want to go? For God’s sake, why didn’t I? Because Margaret Dorn was telling Maggie Caine that nothing was going to happen and everything was going to be all right.

The next day, Saturday, was Duff’s birthday. I had asked him again if he wanted to have a party and invite some of the kids in his class, but he refused. I don’t think he ever made any friends at Cainesville High School. He apparently never participated in any after-­school activities and I don’t think he ever met with any of his classmates away from the school either.

I told myself (Margaret Dorn told me) that next year things would be better. He would be at Yale and we would be living in a house in New Haven and I would have a big surprise birthday party for him. This year there would be just a small party for the two of us.

That night I became Margaret Dorn again in body and the General came to me.

26

Chapter Twenty-­Six