“Mum, stop it. You have met Felisha a few times now and she loves you. You have met Harper once, and she thinks you are adorable and told me she thinks you would be more fun to have dinner with than me and Flynn. Plus, I can assure you I have seen both these women in casual clothes just like yours. Comfy pants and a shirt, oh and shock horror, they even wear track pants on occasions too, looking totally unkempt.” This has Harper reaching out and slapping my arm.

“Forrest Taylor, don’t you be so facetious!” Mum yells at me down the phone.

“Uh-oh, I’m in trouble, you used my full name.”

“You are not too big to cop a wooden spoon on the backside just like when you were little.” She starts to laugh on her end of the phone, with both of us knowing I might have got it twice if I was lucky over the years, and it was so soft I barely felt it. But Flynn, that’s a totally different story. Mum was forever chasing him with the wooden spoon, but he was just baiting her. Because even though he was a little shit growing up, she still was so soft with the spoon it did nothing to discipline him. That sort of thing isn’t done in this day and age, with good reason, but Mum had more effect on us if she went quiet and told us she was disappointed in us. Nothing stabs you harder in the heart than hearing you have disappointed your parents.

“Okay, I’ll behave. But please, just come however you like, and let Dad wear whatever he wants, even if it doesn’t match. No one cares he has no dress sense.”

Harper stands and takes the empty plates and coffee cups to the dishwasher.

“I care, Forrest. I have been married to this man for forty-seven years, and it feels like I’ve been dressing him nearly every day of that time,” she proudly states.

“And I’m sure he loves you for that, Mum,” I say, knowing that Dad would never complain one minute about Mum and her nagging. He loves her deeply, even if he never says it out loud that often. You just have to see the way he looks at her.

“He better.” She laughs.

“Now I need to go because I have a few things I need to do this morning. See you tonight, the car will be there to pick you up at five o’clock, okay?” I roll my finger around in circles so Harper knows I’m trying to wind up the call.

“Okay, my sweet boy, see you soon.” And I smile, wondering where I get the corny names from.

“Bye, Mum.” I hang up the call and sigh with relief.

“Stop it, she sounds adorable.” Harper walks back toward me.