I know part of it is my fault because I chose not to tell her the new information that we got from Ashton. I’ve never lied to her but keeping her in the dark is not entirely right either. But nobody knows about her nightmares, not even Harper.

My holding her in my arms every night when she starts to scream seems to be helping her in some way, as she wakes with no recollection of the trauma of the night before.

But I know that one day soon, that will all crumble too. She will either wake to me beside her, or she will remember something in the morning. I’ll deal with it when it happens, but in the meantime, I’m happy for it to be my secret that I carry part of her burden for her. I would carry it all if she would just share it with me.

Like today, something has rattled her, and although I didn’t help by storming in on her, she’s still holding her cards so close to her chest. I want to stand in front of her and demand she tell me, but I know that will just make her more closed off, and I can’t risk that. It takes all my strength not to be my normal abrupt self, but it’s hard. It’s my default.

Over the years, it has served me well, but now with Harper, it’s different, for two reasons. One, because it would just be throwing gas on the fire, but the second is because I don’t want to hurt her, I respect her too much. And that thought alone makes me look back and think. Was I so disrespectful with others and didn’t even realize it? I can’t worry about that now, but I know when things settle down, sometime soon hopefully, it might be something I need to circle back around to.

Walking away from her standing there in just a towel, her hair still wet and hanging down onto her shoulders, was hard. Droplets of water running down onto her skin from her wet hair looked sexy as hell.

The moment my lips touched her forehead, she tasted just like I remembered. Sweet and delectable. A taste I will savor until the next time I’m lucky enough to be so close to her.

I’m torn on what to do now. Should I stay here and watch over her or appoint security to the door and go back to the office to give her breathing space? When I return home later, she will pretend this afternoon never happened. That’s what she does.

I understand it but also need to find a way to break that habit with me. She can do it with everyone else, but I’m not having it with me anymore.

There has to be a way past both our boundaries.