“Morning,” he grunts back at me, and I don’t wait for any big conversation once he is finished. Starting the treadmill, I pop in my earphones and press play on the next episode of my podcast. Not that I think anything can top the last episode of the great avocado incident, but hey, never say never.

Looking straight ahead doesn’t help me ignore him when there is a big mirror taking up the whole wall in front of both of us.

“Today we are talking about the most embarrassing things that have happened to you while having sex or making out. You know, like when you’ve come so hard you have almost shat yourself on his sheets. And when we put the call out yesterday on social media, you guys came up with so many stories it was hard to narrow them down, but I’m sure you are going to love these.”

My mind is already running with some of the embarrassing things I’ve done, but nothing podcast worthy, I’m sure. I tried not to laugh out loud the moment she mentioned the word shat. I’m not sharing my listening pleasure with Forrest again.

“First, we have Lolita, and don’t worry, we have changed everyone’s names, otherwise no one would ever share the good shit. So, Lolita, let’s share.”

As she starts talking, I can’t help stealing another quick look to the side in the mirror. Forrest has swapped arms, and it’s the one closest to me now. Oh, lordy, who invented shirts that have no sleeves and that have arm holes big enough that you can see every part of the chest? I bet the jerk wore it deliberately because I told him he had to wear a shirt. Well, this is as if he told me I had to wear pants, so I paraded around the place in a G-string. Technically they are pants.

Seeing the corner of his mouth lift up, I know he has spotted me checking him out, and he’s happy that I’m having trouble ignoring him. Trying to concentrate on the words in my ears is hard right now but necessary if I’m going to survive this workout session.