“Same with football games.” His voice pulled me back from my worries.

“Especially football games.” I chuckled. I’d made it a point of pride to not have been to any.

“What do you have against them?” The fence rocked.

I shrugged even though he couldn’t see me. “They’re not my thing.”

“Why not?”

I peered over my shoulder. The flannel of his shirt and a bit of his neck and hair peeked through the gap. “Why do you care? There aren’t enough adoring fans screaming your name?”

“Not all screams are created equal.” He huffed out a laugh.

“You wouldn’t even notice mine added in.”

“I would.” Through the gap, he caught my eye. His gaze, intense and direct locked onto mine.

“Dare, we’ve been in school together for years. All the sudden you’re interested. I’ll come right out and say it. It feels like I’m setting myself up for something.” I tore my gaze away and back to the instrument in my lap.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It doesn’t make sense why you keep doing this. Why now am I suddenly the most interesting person alive, to the point that you’re missing Greenwood Senior High traditions to come hang out with me?”

“Maybe they never interested me to begin with.”

I ran my fingers over the strings.

A voice broke through the silence between us. “Dare, what the fuck? I was about to leave your ass.”

The fence rumbled, his weight shifting off it. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“I did. Bonfire waits for no man. What the hell were you doing out here?”

My back shot off the fence, rattling the loose planks of wood.

There was a beat and I held my breath.

“Nothing, man. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

Why did that hurt? What had I expected him to say? Just out here hanging with my weirdo neighbor while I waited for you to go to the bonfire even though I said I wasn’t going.

I stayed by the fence until the rumble of Knox’s engine disappeared in the distance, then carried my guitar into my bedroom and flopped onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. The itch tickled my fingers, traveling up my arms to my chest. The pulse grew faster and louder until I couldn’t block it out anymore. I snatched my notebook off my desk and ripped it open to the first blank page, immortalizing this moment—at least until I decided to shred the page.

Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe I’d show up at school and sing this song in front of everyone.

Maybe I could force him to feel the way he made me feel.

13

Bay

After tech rehearsal wrapped up, I hopped on my bike for the sludgy, salt-lick ride home. Most of the snow had already melted, but the gray and brown monstrosities on the sides of the road looked like the world’s worst snow cone. I felt like an owl who’d been given too much coffee to make it through the day.