“He’s a granite statue of sexual madness and you’re not all over him?”

“We’re taking things slow.” I ducked my head and tried not to think of how I’d been kind of throwing myself at him and he’d always detoured into Cuddle Town. Not that I minded him being cute and gentle, but I wouldn’t mind a pit stop to Bang Town before we got there.

Maybe after the Bedlam Bowl. The plan formed in my head. It wasn’t perfect, but it was damn close. If it didn’t kill me first.

27

Dare

“I bet you draw all the girls you bring up to your bedroom.” She rested her head on her hand. The waves and curls of her hair framed her face and cascaded down her arm, spreading across the sheets.

She wasn’t angry or snippy about it. Her assumption that I dragged out my sketch pad as some post-sex ritual wouldn’t have been crazy, given the stories whirling around school about me—rumors that had never bothered me until now. I didn’t want her to think I was a man-whore only looking to score.

Her black Rolling Stones t-shirt matched her black shorts, which, even at mid-thigh, had me tightening the reins on my libido as I traced every line and curve of her body, from her hip to her knee to her sock-covered toes.

We hadn’t had sex yet. Sleeping beside her and not letting my hands wander, not giving her what she wanted, was one of the hardest things I’d done in my life.

Holding on tight to those reins, I’d done everything I could to go slow. Probably too slow. And it was killing me. But once I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop. I knew deep down that it would be like throwing the brakes on a train plowing ahead at a hundred miles an hour, never sure I’d get a handle on it. And the risk—the fear—of hurting her with all the craziness brewing in my head was too much.

I’d wanted to be that guy for her. But I was still me, even when I shoved those urges and my need for her down deep. The hungry, bordering on feral, force of nature that wanted to be her first everything kept me holding on tight to the reins, tiptoeing across a frozen pond as it cracked and I fell into the water below.

And her heart. My heart. Watching her go to school while I wasted away in this shit town, or in some shit job, where she felt she had to come back to visit my loser ass after graduation. If I didn’t break her heart by fucking this up—because of course I would —then she would break mine.

How could I keep her and let her go at the same time?

The clock was ticking down to so many things in my life. My Titan Combine numbers from last month and the Bedlam Bowl in a week were all I had. This was my last shot—at least my last shot at a future that didn’t involve pumping gas.