“And that makes it right?”

I shot up from her chair. Pain radiated from the spot on my left side like a glowing ‘do not touch’ button. The chair clattered against the desk, pitching and toppling over. “Why is everyone trying to make such a big deal about this? You don’t think I know that? But it’s over now. It’s finished. There’s no going back to fix anything, and college means I don’t ever have to see him again. I’ll go pro, and he can eat shit and die for all I care.”

“Leaving doesn’t mean all this goes away. Moving doesn’t change the stuff going on in our heads.”

“Moving out will for me. I don’t have to see him. And if I do…” My hands clenched at my sides.

“Maybe you should talk to someone.” She stood from the bed and crossed the room to me.

“And tell them what? Yeah, my dad used to beat the shit out of me, but I worked my ass off in the gym to get bigger, and now he only throws wrenches at my head from a safe distance because he knows I’d fuck his shit up if he got closer.”

“Obviously not.”

“Fine. That I only need to be on guard on days he comes home when I’m not expecting him. I’m not going back there while he’s there, Bay. Don’t worry. I’m leaving town as soon as I can.” I’d sleep in my car on the side of the road if I needed to. A few more dented car doors and bumper repairs and I’d have enough to support myself for a couple months somewhere warm.

“You can’t just close the book on this and shove it on a shelf somewhere. It’s going to affect you.”

“I didn’t realize they offered a degree in psychology at Greenwood Senior High.”

“I’m not…” She ran her fingers through her hair. “I’m not trying to push you.”

“It’s exactly what you’re trying to do. I don’t hit anyone unless it’s on the field.” The few knock-down fights I’d been in off the field had all been justified, not whaling on someone who couldn’t fight back, but Bay didn’t need to know my whole dirty, bruised, and bloody history.

She didn’t need to know that more than half of my bruises had nothing to do with my games. Or how I’d been essentially living on my own since I was twelve. It had been a hell of a lot easier mowing lawns as a cute kid for extra cash back then.

Once I’d started high school, I’d had to make the hard choices between practice and making money for food, and there were many nights I went to bed hungry, bummed food off someone, or went to a party just to eat. I wasn’t above letting a fan pay for my meal so I wouldn’t have to chug water to get myself to finally fall asleep at night.

“I didn’t say you would, but… you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide this from me. Don’t be ashamed.”