From the kitchen window, I could see straight out back to Bay’s house. The light was off in her bedroom. Relief washed through me. She’d mentioned going to the studio tonight after stage crew, which meant she wouldn’t be home until just before dawn.

I didn’t want her anywhere near these assholes. Other than Knox, I’d never want any of these guys breathing the same air as her. But a part of me had let this party happen even when I didn’t want it out of anger. When Bennet sent the text, I could’ve said no. I could’ve told him I’d take a rain check, but I hadn’t.

She’d blown me off. The day after our night in the studio, somehow, wherever I was, she wasn’t. In the hallways, her locker remained unopened. In class, she always kept her gaze locked on the front of the classroom, scribbling down notes even though everyone else had long settled into their senioritis holding pattern.

I downed my warm beer, flinging the bottle onto the stack of cans and plastic cups overflowing from the trashcan. Freshmen were tasked with cleaning shit up after team parties. I grabbed another beer, cracking open the tab and finishing it before I could stop myself. Someone handed out red plastic cups of punch, and instead of waving them off like I had at every other pass, I took one and gulped down half of it.

The hard liquor buzzed in my veins, going in straight for the kill.

It was a salve to the burn from her running from my car. Running from me. Maybe in the early morning light, whatever she felt for me paled in comparison to spending late nights with Without Grey.

And they’d heard her sing. Their manager made a note of it. What would happen when she got her big break? She was already playing in the studio with one of the biggest bands to explode to the top of the charts. Her life had a trajectory rocketing her toward things I couldn’t even imagine.

Right now, all I could hope for was a back-up spot on a college team to fill a gap in their roster in the hopes of still turning pro. If I did that, would I be worthy of her then?

People around me laughed and screamed, flinging ice at one another, sliding around in beer and water from the coolers soaking the floors. Off-key singing accompanied the music rumbling the counter against my back.

Now, surrounded by all these people, I wanted out. Out of my own house and out of this life I’d been living for so long. I couldn’t even begin to figure out how to start something new, how to break away from where I’d been placed.

I couldn’t tell why I sent the text—maybe I’d bumped myself down to lightweight status after not partying much after Bay and I started hanging out. Or maybe it was something else, something I didn’t want to face.